In The Secret and Quiet
by coffeeandpaperbacks
Summary: Will something that started out as a passionate affair and distraction from loneliness end up breaking Regina entirely? Will Emma, do as her title suggest and save Regina from the quiet and secret? [SwanQueen][Post-S4][No Mal & Cruella][Cover credits:fortheloveofpizza]
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer : **I do not own Once Upon A Time and the characters featured in this television series.

**A/N : **Inspired by a review made about another fic I am writing, "Enough". I decided to switch it up and have Emma cheat on Hook with Regina. Definitely angsty and Emma will probably be quite douchey. Not that I hate her because I wouldn't write about her if I did but I'm an EvilRegal at heart so somebody's gotta be the bad cop since the canon storyline is making it so hard on Regina.

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><p><span><strong>In The Secret and Quiet<br>Chapter 1**

Regina moaned loudly as she was pulled upwards against the taller frame above her, hands placed firmly on the brunette's waist, Regina felt the hard member thrusting into her. They had both nearly reached their release, and with one final thrust, angled especially to hit Regina's core, both of them came, sighing in pleasure.

"Amazing as always, honey," Emma said. She kissed her forehead and rolled herself off of Regina but kept her sight on the brunette's brown orbs, illuminated by the soft glow of the side table lights. She never expressed it but there was something in her that liked having Emma use that term of endearment with her.

"You have to leave soon," she murmured softly, hating herself for poorly concealing her sadness in her tone. _Love is weakness._

"Killian and I have dinner plans with my parents and Henry or something. Whatever," Emma mumbled in response, her hand waving at her crotch to make her added appendage disappear.

"Mmmmhmmm," she hummed and rolled to the side with her eyes closed, breaking the intense eye contact between her brown orbs and emerald ones. She feigned sleepiness, wanting to avoid the blonde's awkward (painful) departure. It wasn't entirely false though, her tiredness. She was always worn out physically by the time Emma left. "Have a good time with the handless wonder, your parents and Henry. You know where to find me when you need a sex toy," she drolled, snuggling further into her pillow.

Emma tugged Regina to face her, cupping the brunette's jaw to kiss those lush lips lightly as she said seriously, "Regina, you're more than a sex toy to me. You know that, right?"

"Right. So you've said, Saviour."

"Honey, I know we started out just purely physical but it's more now. Trust me, I'm sure of it," Emma tucked Regina's hair behind her ear. Regina soaked up the affection from Emma, a part of her hated the fact that she craved the blonde's soft and affectionate touches. She was that woman in those movies or trashy romance novels that she made fun of in the past.

"If you're sure then who am I to argue with the good and powerful Saviour?" Regina quipped, smirking as she kissed the corner of the blonde's mouth playfully.

"Oh I know who you are, madame mayor." Emma punctuated her sentence with light kisses on the brunette's cheeks. "And I know for a fact that I'm not good. I'm cheating on my boyfriend with the mother of my son."

"Going public doesn't matter. I don't care what the townspeople has to say. As long as I get to be with you and Henry," Regina said, barely containing her yawn. "Someone's sleepy," the blonde teased as Regina pulled up the cover over her naked frame. She blinked at Emma and admired her toned biceps from all those chin-ups she would do, her gorgeous blonde curls and those emerald eyes that Emma shared with their son. What she would give to be in Emma's arms for the rest of their lives.

"I'll be back later tonight, so don't wear yourself out before I get back," Emma leaned forward and kissed her soundly on the lips, "Though you know I love it when you let me watch," she added as she slid further away from the brunette.

"You mean this, darling?" Regina asked, her voice dipped low and husky as she pushed the sheets down and spread her legs. She gasped loudly as she inserted two fingers into herself. She moaned loudly as her fingers thrusted in and out of her heat. Her soundly moans, however, were fake as Emma had definitely satisfied her sexually. If Regina used anything from her time as the Evil Queen during her interactions with Emma, it was her raw sexual magnetism. Something has to be done in order for the blonde to return to her.

Emma licked her lips at the sight of Regina moaning wantonly and Regina could see the lust in those emerald eyes. Emma shifted closer towards her again. She figured that they had enough time for one more quickie as Emma's own heat was nearly dripping at the thought of having Regina again.

"Your boyfriend is waiting," Regina interjected the blonde's movements towards her, crossing her arms across her glistening breasts, still sweaty from their previous turn.

"Dammit," Emma cursed as she rushed forward to pull Regina's hand out of her, quickly refilling the cavity with her own fingers. She stroked the throbbing heat gently, aroused at the fact that Regina was still wet for her, even though they had spent the past two hours fucking like bunnies. Emma was almost as adept as Regina in teasing, pausing mid-stroke and whispered, "Till next time, honey."

Regina didn't reply but kissed the blonde's neck and continued to suck it lightly. "Honey, you're torturing me here. Ugh-" She pushed away from the bed reluctantly, and pulled her panties and skinny jeans on. She picked up her bra on the floor and hunted for her tank top. As her outfit now lacked her trademark red leather jacket, she didn't wear it despite holding it in her arms. Emma walked over to Regina's side of the bed and wrapped it around the brunette. Regina quirked her eyebrows at the high-school-esque gesture.

Emma smiled, "You can keep this," brushing the dark brown hair from Regina's forehead and kissed the space she created softly.

"Wouldn't your boyfriend suspect something if you stopped wearing your favourite jacket?" Regina asked.

"Just don't wear it out," Emma responded lightly and continued, "It looks so fucking sexy on you, honey. Get some sleep maybe? I'll be back." She laughed lightly and stuck her tongue out as Regina huffed at the Terminator reference.

"Okay, darling," Regina yawned again. She stretched out and pulled the covers over her head. She felt Emma wrap her arms around what must be a lump under the cover one last time and kissed her forehead. She then heard the door to her bedroom open and close as Emma's footsteps retreat down the hall.

It had only been three week, but it felt like a lifetime. She had spent the weeks while Henry was at Summer Camp, being Emma's mistress. She had experienced the joys of sex in almost every way and it was never a dull moment between Emma and herself. She thought, perhaps it was because the sex happened with Emma Swan. She couldn't imagine going a day without Emma now that she had experienced the blonde.

This was the one time when being a Captain Guyliner didn't pay off. Killian Jones, who was not extremely adventurous in bed and Emma, needed variety from the typical missionary position. Regina, had been the perfect choice. She was stunningly gorgeous, and the sexual tension between both women could break a chainsaw since when Emma first rolled into town in her yellow atrocity. The brunette was lonely while her son was away and Emma had often fantasized about the feisty mayor almost every night. So when Emma made the first move to kiss her in the conference room after the town meeting, Regina was stunned. Before she realised, Emma had transported them to the lower foyer of her house as she held the brunette tightly by her ass.

Sex with Emma Swan was undeniably amazing and when they weren't having sex, the blonde's affection and care wormed their way into Regina's heart. A part of her, in the quiet and secret, hurt to know that she was being used for just one thing. The bells in her head kept ringing as it warned her that such conditions were not likely to work in her favour. But she ignored them, she was entranced by Emma Swan. Captured by the Saviour and her affections warming her cold and dark heart. An affair was fine with her and she convinced herself that they did not have to be in a relationship. And as she drifted off to unconsciousness, she couldn't stop her heart from clenching at the thought of being kept in the quiet and secret while Emma had dinner with her family. Regina comforted herself in knowing that the blonde would be back from round four or five later that night.

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><p><strong>P.S<strong> I'd love to know what you think. Leave me a message after reading this! ;)


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer :** I do not own Once Upon A Time and the characters featured in this television series.

**A/N :** Thanks for following and your reviews. More angst! Hope you enjoy!

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><p><span><strong>In The Secret and Quiet<br>****Chapter 2**

Strong arms slid around her waist, waking her in the process. She was startled at the sudden contact but smiled as she feels Emma pull her closer. She shifted backwards to mold her body to the blonde's taller frame. Emma had indeed returned to her as promised.

"Emma." she whispered. Regina wasn't sure if Emma wanted to have sex again or if she had just returned to spoon her. The first time Emma had returned from family dinner and spooned her from the back, Regina had jolted out of the blonde's touch as it had been more than three decades since someone had held her affectionately. Emma had assumed that Regina would demand for cuddles and had served her time before the brunette threw a fuss and kicked her out of bed but Regina did not throw a fuss or even know to expect anything of this sort from sexual partners. Now that Emma had reminded Regina of the warmth of being in someone's arms, Regina could hardly fall asleep without the blonde in her bed.

"Hey honey," Emma responded softly, using her fingers to comb the dark brown locks from her neck. The blonde's hot breath into the back of her neck sent shivers down her spine and she could feel the moisture between her legs return. Regardless if Emma had returned just for sex, Regina would have the blonde again. She turned around to tuck her face into Emma's neck and mumbled, "I missed you, darling. Don't hurt me, Emma." She imagined her mother would roll in her grave if she knew how needy and vulnerable Regina Mills had become under the ministrations of the Saviour.

Emma couldn't make out the muffled mumblings that Regina had said into her neck and asked, "What was that, honey?" Emma stared at the ceiling as she pulled the brunette closer, revelling in the feeling of the brunette in her arms, having thought about doing so throughout dinner.

Regina lifted her face from the blonde's neck and looked into the Saviour's eyes and said, "Nothing." Emma looked into the brown orbs and despite the alarm bells in her head that indicated that Regina was lying, simply placed a soft kiss on the corner of the brunette's mouth. "Well I have something to tell you," the blonde replied, her eyes twinkling from excitement.

Regina held her breath, thinking that this was the moment that the blonde would confess feelings for her and she would tell the brunette something that she had realised a week ago. I love you. "I am so wet for you, honey. Kept squirming in my seat throughout the whole evening at the restaurant."

Regina let out a pained chuckle at the blonde's words. Her hands trailed down the blonde's body and cupped Emma's heat, "You're not lying," she husked, grateful that her voice that was so close to breaking that it could be masked as arousal, "You are dripping wet."

"Well it's a good thing I have you to take care of it then," Emma teased as she slid her own hand down to guide Regina to go faster.

Regina didn't trust her own voice and decided to fulfill her sole purposely diligently. There was something so submissive in the way that she would unzip Emma's jeans and peel them off of the blonde that never failed to arouse Emma further. Emma enjoyed having unspoken control and domination over her when they had sex. Regina could only guess that it had something to do with the fact that she was a former monarch and one of the most powerful person in town. Emma removed her tank top and bra while Regina removed Emma's panties. Regina kissed Emma's pelvic moung and trailed her kisses towards the side, to the blonde's inner thighs, missing the glistening folds that begged for her attention.

"UGH! Gina-honey. Stop teasing pl-lease," Emma had her eyes closed, waiting to have her release by Regina's talented mouth. Regina enjoyed prolonging Emma's torture, to have the blonde beg and writhe to her touch. She smirked and shifted her head higher to kiss Emma's pelvic mound again.

"Nooooo.." Emma breathed exasperatedly and pouted as she said, "Honey-"

Regina conceded, unable to resist the pout that she knew accompanied that tone. She used her tongue to lick the clit that peaked out from the blonde's folds. She started kissing the blonde's clit and used her tongue to occasionally explore the cavity that kept trying to suck her in. Emma groaned aloud at the building pressure. Regina then curled her tongue and slid it into the blonde's folds as she used her fingers to circle the clit. Emma buried her hands into Regina's hair at the anticipated intrusion, feeling the brunette draw her tongue in and out of her folds. Just as the sucking motion of Emma's vaginal come to an all-time high, Regina started humming and pushed her tongue as deep as she could. Emma came loudly, her cum flowing freely into Regina's mouth. Regina's tongue was still trapped within Emma's vaginal walls as the blonde rode out her orgasm.

When the brunette finally regained her tongue, she emerged from under the covers and slid back to her previous position next to Emma.

"Hey." Emma kissed Regina's forehead while the brunette merely hummed a response. Emma wondered why Regina was being so quiet all of a sudden. She slid her hands beneath her own jacket , rubbing Regina's flat and unblemished naval. She then moved to squeeze the brunette's firm breasts and rubbed the hard nipples gently. Regina attempted to slide the jacket from her body and Emma pulled it behind the brunette to trap her arms. She then kissed down the valley in between Regina's breast and took the right nipple into her mouth. As she licked and nibbled it, she used her fingers to roll the left nipple. Regina's breathing started to become heavier and she moaned for Emma to do more.

Suddenly Emma's phone started vibrating in her jeans on the floor, the beat of the vibration followed the tone of a popular pirate franchise theme song and Regina's eyes widened. She hoped that Emma would ignore the phone call and continued with her ministrations towards Regina's chest but a part of her prepared for a response to the disappointment which Emma had never failed to deliver. As the blonde's mouth stopped its actions, Regina closed her eyes. It would do no favours to her heart to witness the sight of Emma retrieving her phone and answering her boyfriend's call while they were in the middle of something.

Regina brought her hands to pull the red leather jacket back onto her shoulders. As if a piece of leather would shield her from what was about to happen. Silly silly girl. Regina couldn't stop her ears from picking up on the padded footsteps to the other side of the bedroom and the muffled exchanges from Emma into the phone. She slid down the bed and pulled the covers over her head, curling her body into a ball as she closed her eyes tightly.

A few moments, which seemed like hours to Regina, passed and she senses magic being discharged in the very near vicinity. She had a few guesses on what Emma had used her magic for and she had hoped that the blonde would at least come back into the room to tell Regina that she was leaving. She can hear the door open and the padded footsteps coming closer to her side of the bed. So, Emma had indeed dressed herself with magic. Well, at least she didn't teleport away. Regina doesn't move and her eyes are closed as Emma peels the cover away. A whispered "sorry honey, I'll call you tomorrow" was all Regina received before she felt Emma's magic in the room again. Regina swallows and uses magic to conjure a sleeping spell for herself that would last until 8am in the morning. The pooled liquid in her brown orbs threatened to spill and as she pressed her face into the pillow to catch the tears, the spell took effect, effectively saving her from consciousness, the secret and quiet.

TBC

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><p>P.S Remember to tell me what you think! Really appreciate it!<p>

T.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer : **I do not own Once Upon A Time and the characters featured in this television series.

**A/N : **Thanks for following my story and your reviews. Really appreciate knowing what you think about my story and your wishes for the characters. Will definitely take them into consideration. Hope you enjoy!

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><p><span><strong>In The Secret and Quiet<br>****Chapter 3**

Emma sat across from Killian in the booth. They were in the diner, having breakfast as indistinct chatter filled the background. Killian was trying to get Emma's attention focused on him and his boat problems. Emma was tired and annoyed at having been called in the early hours of the morning to remove Killian from the Rabbit Hole. Now that everyone knew they were involved, they called Emma at her personal capacity as the pirate's girlfriend and not as the Sheriff to throw the drunk pirate into a cell. Much to the dismay of Regina at the blatant double standards the people had adopted towards the pirate. It didn't help that Emma had no interest or clue about boats on large bodies of water either. At least not after Neverland. So, Emma was having extreme difficulty concentrating her attention on the man who was her boyfriend, but also because Regina had walked in several moments ago.

Killian had his back to the counter where Regina stood, giving her orders to a Ruby who was shamelessly trying to invite Regina for a threesome with Tink and herself. All three women were single (or so Ruby thought!) and they weren't involved with one another but Ruby was a flirt and now that Regina was on the side of good,the werewolf could finally get away with teasing madame mayor. Regina had allowed it and perhaps even enjoyed the attention she received from the wolf as she was smirking while Ruby laughed at Regina's response which Emma could not make out. Emma held her hands in a tight fist until her knuckles turned white to stop herself from walking over to Regina and claiming her for all to see. Killian could not see that Regina had entered but Emma got a perfect view, and her eyes shifted to the gorgeous view so very often.

Regina was wearing a grey dress that hugged her figure like it was painted on the brunette. Emma wasn't sure but it felt like every time her eyes shifted to Regina, her figure just got more tantalising. Emma didn't think she could live a day without touching Regina and she was addicted. It wasn't the sex though, it was Regina herself that had Emma hooked. Three weeks ago, Emma wouldn't have thought that her time with Regina would be the best and favourite part of her day, that she would spent her time counting down the minutes and seconds until she got to spend time with the gorgeous mayor. It wasn't much of a surprise that she would enjoy sex with Regina, having fantasized about the mayor since that first night they met a few years ago. Most people didn't admit it aloud but Emma knew that most people would kill to be share a night with Regina, being as hot and passionate as she is. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that the former evil monarch was beyond explosive in bed.

"Emma love?" Killian said, "Are you even listening?"

"Oh, uhm...Something about your boat right? Holes you said?" Emma asked with false concern that she didn't hide very well.

"First of all, it's a ship. You know very well that I resent people calling it a boat. Holes?! I don't even know why you're here if you don't bother listening to me," Killian said with a sigh, crossing his arms across his chest while he stared at Emma.

Emma didn't know why she was here with Killian either. Not when Regina was standing just a few feet away looking so delectable. "Yeah. Maybe we should cut this short then. I'll get the bill. See you later, Killian," she said nonchalantly, excited at the prospects of heading over to where Regina was once Killian left the premises.

"IT'S LIKE YOU DON'T EVEN CARE!" Killian raised his voice in reply to Emma's uncaring dismissal and slammed his palms onto the table to bring Emma's attention to him. The action brought about interest from almost all the patrons in the diner, especially Regina, who had chosen to ignore Emma and Hook who were sitting in the booth. She knew from her years as a queen that Emma was staring holes into the vision of her in her grey dress but she made a stand to refuse meeting Emma's gaze. But Killian's childlike-almost-figurative-foot-stamping action elicited a rare response from Regina.

Almost everyone heard the mayor's snort, which most of them had to admit, was pretty adorable. To Emma, it was a reaction that she found absolutely irresistible and she had an overwhelming desire to take Regina in her arms. Everyone else tried to hide their smile/response at both the pirate's actions and Regina's response. They were far too determined to hold a grudge on the former evil monarch to realise that the woman was actually human and not some evil caricature. Only people like Ruby, Granny, Belle, Tink and Katherine were able to see past history to be friends with the present Regina.

Regina quickly clamped her hand over the mouth and nose, eyes widening at the realisation that she had snorted aloud. Emma knew that Regina was most likely watching them despite not looking at them since walking in because the mayor often picked apart Killian's childish behaviour. Emma wished that she wouldn't do so because everything Regina said made Emma more aware and conscious of Killian's faults which made it so hard for Emma to be in his presence, much like what was happening now. What kind of man, who has lived for centuries, act like a whiny-moody-insecure teenager with their girlfriend when he should just grow up and handle their relationship more maturely. Instead he often ran to Emma's parents to settle their disputes.

But she had to settle Killian first before the man started wailing like her one and a half years old brother. Emma sighed and stared Killian down from across the table in their booth, daring him to react more than he has. She had learned the art of silent intimidation from Regina far too well and this time, she had won her stand against her immature leather-clad boyfriend. Killian looked away first and mumbled his leave. Not bothering to apologise but was clearly realising how embarrassing his display was to the both of them.

Emma's eyes shifted back to Regina's direction and found the brunette in the midst of reaching forward to touch Ruby's face. She quickly left her place in the booth and walked over to her lover and friend at the counter. "Why are you touching Ruby's face?" Emma asked flatly, struggling to keep the jealousy out of her voice because the idea of Regina giving Ruby affection made her very very uncomfortable.

Before Regina could respond, Ruby had jumped the gun to inform Emma that Regina was just cleaning up a mess she started. "Mess?" the sheriff quirked her eyebrows while Regina and Ruby shared playful smirks as they remembered how the wolf teased the mayor about her snort and in retaliation and impulse, Regina decided to throw a donut at the wolf's face. In Regina's defence, it was on the counter and other than using her magic, this was the most non-harmful damage that she could inflict on her friend who started mimicking her snort repeatedly to tease her. It distracted her from the situation between Emma and Hook, and for that she was thankful to the wolf.

Emma just furrowed her brows at the inside joke shared between Regina and Ruby, her insides were glowering at the closeness displayed and her whole body screamed at her to possess Regina right there in the dinner, to lay her stake. Not that Ruby would actually pursue Regina. At least Emma hope she didn't because the wolf and Regina would actually make a very attractive couple. Emma just huffed and dropped some money on the counter before she bid the two ladies a good day and left to fume in her office at the station.

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><p>Emma was thankful when it was almost time for Emma and David to head to the Town Hall for a meeting regarding the Summer festival. She would leave earlier, surprise Regina and hopefully have a quickie before a possibly very boring meeting with her parents, the dwarves, the fairies and a few more of the town representatives. She quickly parked her car and strode in, intending to find a new spot in the Town Hall that they could christened this time. When she found opened a door on the same floor as Regina's office and the meeting room, she smiled and slipped in but left the door slightly ajar. She knew that Regina would usually prefer to prepare the meeting room, leave and then make a dramatic entrance later when everyone arrived and had settled sufficiently. That woman and her dramatic entrances and exit made Emma smile as she waved her hand in a slight flourish in between her jean-clad legs.<p>

The moment came when she heard the signature sound of Regina's heels hitting the floor down the hallway and when the brunette walked pass the door, Emma grabbed her wrist and pulled the brunette into the closet with her, closing the door and locking it, thus effectively enclosing the both of them in darkness.

"What are you doing, Emma?" Regina hissed at the sudden entrapment by Emma. The blonde pressed her lips to Regina, shutting her up.

As Emma caught Regina mid-sentence, she could easily slip her tongue and coaxed Regina into submitting to her kiss. Regina relented and allowed the kiss to stop at Emma's pace. Regina was starting to hate her spinelessness when it came to Emma's affection. She had to remind herself of Emma's hurtful actions that left her devastated yesterday night, or rather, this morning. "Come on."

"What are you talking about?" Emma asked, eager to return to their previous activity as she leaned forward to bring her lips closer to Regina's. Emma pressed her up against the wall, "You're not going anywhere, madame mayor. At least not until I say so," she said gruffly but both of them could tell that Emma was joking. Regina's insides couldn't help but flutter at Emma's possessiveness and brought her hands up to hold Emma's jaws as she kissed the blonde hungrily.

"What are you going to do? Fuck me in the supply closet? I don't think it's a good idea," Regina broke the kiss and retorted.

"No," Emma replied softly, "I'm not going to fuck you against the wall but I do want to hold you in my arms and kiss you for a while, at least a temporary cure so that I can function properly until I see you tonight and get to have my way with you completely. Of course, where we end up kissing each other is entirely subjective…" Emma trailed off as she pushed her his flushed against Regina's.

"Have your way with me?" she asked, "Even if I don't let you?" Regina's voice dropped to a tone that suggested to Emma that Regina might consider letting her play out that role-play scenario.

Emma chuckled at Regina's indirect suggestion and pressed her lips hard against Regina's, holding her lover's face before she pulled away roughly, as if preluding to that particular scenario that they were just imagining in their minds just now.

"You're just going to manhandle me then, Sheriff Swan?" Regina asked, in a tone that was far too innocent to be suggestive and it made the hard member that she had added just now throbbed painfully.

"Absolutely. but it's womanhandle, madame mayor," Emma said as her hands traced Regina's body from her lips to the zip at the base of her neck. She wasted no time in unzipping her dress and slid down the dress to just above her navel. She smirked at the black lace Agent Provocateur piece that they had bought during their work trip to Boston for some town issue. Emma had no doubt Regina was wearing the same piece that the brunette had modeled for her in the store. She slipped her hands over Regina's breast and kneaded them gently as she crashed their lips together once again. She loved kissing Regina and believed she would never tire of it. Small noises escaped from Regina's mouth into Emma's as the blonde continued her work of pleasure on Regina's breast. Emma broke the kiss and immediately pushed one of her fingers into those bruised lips. Regina smirked and sucked on it. Emma removed her finger and used the wet finger to trace Regina's hardened peaks. Regina let out a low guttural groan.

"Emma, you're going to reveal us," Regina's eyes were closed and sighed.

"What are you talking about, honey?" Emma asked. It was especially during these times that Regina hated Emma's genetic contributor, her idiot parents.

Regina ran her fingers along the large bulge developing in Emma's tight skinny jeans that had been pressing up against her inner thigh since she was dragged into the supply closet. "This," she kissed. Emma groaned and unbuttoned her jeans, freeing her erection from the denim prison. Regina loved Emma's visible reaction for her and reached inside Emma's panties, running her manicured nails along the length of her.

"Maybe I can calm it down slightly until tonight, darling," Regina offered sympathetically as Emma's forehead creased from the arousal. Regina slipped the panties off Emma's hips and took the hard member into both her hands, massaging Emma gently. It took all of Emma's willpower but she managed to pry Regina's talented hands off of her.

"You have to stop, honey," Emma whispered, "You're making it worst and if I let you continue, I'll cum all over us."

Regina laughed but dismissed Emma's worries as she waved her hand over the member, returning Emma's anatomy to its original form. Just dripping wet. "Honeyyyyyy…" Emma whined at Regina's actions while the brunette just smirked and pulled her dress back onto her shoulders, using magic to fix her makeup and hair.

Emma gathered herself and pulled her jeans up, "Let's go. I think everyone is here. Is it late enough for your dramatic entrance yet?"

"I suppose," Regina sighed, having been brought back to reality. Every time Regina was with Emma, it felt like a dream and when reality came crashing down, Regina would lose a part of herself to the blonde Saviour.

Emma took Regina's hands and started to take her hand to pull out of the closet but the mayor stood still in the supply closet which she just realised, smelled like a mixture of cleaning agent and dust. The sheriff turned around to see what happened to Regina/

"Emma?" Regina asked, a rare display of vulnerability on her face as she bit her lip. Emma's heart tugged at the most beautiful woman in the world.

"Yeah?" she asked softly, her eyes softened at the brown orbs that reflected such sadness and pain that made her choke up.

"Do you think you'd ever bring me to that bench in the park near the pond, your special place where Hook sits with you?" Regina asked, hating herself for having become that vulnerable woman once again. Hating Emma for bringing this woman out of her every single time. Hating Hook for being able to hold Emma in his arms while they watched the swan in the pond.

"Oh-uhm well Regina, you know I would give anything to do so, but the park is a very public place. I mean people could see us," Emma's voice shook slightly as she adjusted her badge nervously.

"Alright," Regina said softly, so softly that Emma would have missed it if she wasn't studying Regina's face. Her brown orbs shifted to her own slightly mused dress, using magic to iron out the possibly imagined wrinkles. Hook got the park and the dinners, she got the supply closet and late night calls. But she had known this from the start. Right?

"Come on honey. Before David calls for a search party," Emma tried to lighten the mood with the joke, taking Regina's hand again and the brunette followed her this time. "I'm sorry," Emma added apologetically, sensing Regina's sadness.

Regina ignored the apology knowing that they were just mere words, Emma would hurt her repeatedly regardless having apologised. Regina let go of Emma's hand as they neared the meeting room to let Emma go in first. She used a few minutes to collect herself, abandoning the dreams of Emma kissing her passionately, like the blonde had done in the supply closet, on the bench at the park.

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><p><strong>P.S <strong>Favourite or Most-hated scenes/moments? Just so you know, I was tempted to have Regina give Emma a blowjob in the supply closet but decided against it because Regina would never kneel on a dirty supply closet floor. Bed or carpet perhaps, right? Haha anyway, please let me know what you think. Reviews make it possible for quick updates! :)

T.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer : **I do not own Once Upon A Time and the characters featured in this television series.

**A/N : **Thanks for following, favouriting and your reviews. Some smut and maybe a bit of feels. I have been inspired by Jessie Ware's "Say You Love Me" and Sam Smith's "Leave Your Lover" since starting this fic. Go listen to it. Whether after or before you read this chapter is fine. Let me know what you think about the songs (and the chapter as well) in your review and I will reward you with a teaser for the next chapter. (Yup each and everyone of you can get the teaser.) Enjoy!

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><p><span><strong>In The Secret and Quiet<br>****Chapter 4**

Regina had her legs wrapped tightly around Emma's waist, the water falling on both of them from the rain shower above them. Her brown orbs had lolled up towards the back of her head, and she could feel her body shaking. Emma had perfected the art of hitting Regina's G-spot and with professional ease, created such a pleasure for Regina throughout their time together that Regina was pretty sure she has had blackouts, no longer able to process the magnitude of pleasure she felt under Emma's ministrations. Unintelligible noises were emitted from her mouth. Murmurs or passionate cries when Emma would hit her harder than she was expecting or Emma added an additional finger without warning. Sometimes Emma would continue pounding after her orgasm, giving her successive climaxes that made the world spin for her. Regina dug her manicured nails into Emma's back, making sure to hold on to the blonde with all her strength as the pounding became erratic in tempo. She left crescent shaped indents in the back, nearly drawing blood as both of them started approaching a simultaneous climax.

Emma held Regina to her, her hands digging into the wet and soft skin, the sound of the moans and soft whines were driving her insane. She knew Regina's body so well by now, to a far greater extent than she knew any other man or woman alive would ever be capable of. Emma knew exactly what actions would elicit specific responses from Regina, what areas needed the most attention, where Regina was ticklish. Whether they were the spot on her neck when they were kissing or the various points on her body when they were engaged in foreplay. The places that made Regina breathe heavily, pant or cling desperately to her as if she would never let go. The specific places that stirred sweet moans from deep inside Regina's chest. They were so desperate, so human and so raw and that drove Emma to oblivion. Sometimes at her climax, Regina would make these sounds that begged Emma to leave the brunette alone because Emma was creating far too much pleasure, giving too much affection, that Regina couldn't handle it, but Emma continued anyway. It revealed things that were unsaid between the both of them. "Leave me now before I lose all parts of myself and everything to you. Leave before you choose someone else every single time." All these unsaid fears were revealed in the sounds that Regina made as she clawed and scratched Emma while the blonde pounded deep into her. They both shared an unspoken conversation every time they fucked one another, knowing that there may come a time where the Emma would leave Regina and never return.

When she heard these noises from Regina, Emma would hold her tighter, bringing their bodies as close as physically possible, trying with her entire being to hold onto Regina. The truth is, Emma was afraid of losing Regina, afraid that she would actually abandon the brunette, something she never wanted to do towards anyone. Which is why Emma pushed the moral and practical side of her into the back of her mind, that often told her that it would be a better move to end the affair before it grew out of hand. It was morally confusing to the supposedly upstanding and model citizen Saviour because she wasn't sure if it was right to break up with Killian or to end things with Regina, both possibilities had outcomes that made it impossible for Emma to make a decision and it frustrated the hell out of her. What was worst, is that her head and heart combined efforts to make life difficult as Regina found her way into her heart. Something she had never intended because this was supposed to be a one-off thing because she couldn't keep her hands to herself when Regina wore leather. She was unaware how it happened but it must have been during one of the many one-off sessions that they trued to have.

Arms wrapped tightly around one another, each reached to the point of climax almost simultaneously with Emma painting Regina's canals with her cum after Regina's muscles enveloped and hugged Emma's throbbing member. They called out one another's name and Emma tilted her head to take Regina in her mouth, desperate for their lips to make contact. Regina returned the kiss with equal fervour and melted into the taller frame as her legs slid from their position around the blonde's waist. Regina leaned against Emma, their height difference apparent as the brunette was barefoot, she panted heavily to catch her breath while Emma struggled for air. Emma had to get out of the shower, to breathe and clear her head. She couldn't think about anything else other than to be with the brunette in front of her and that terrified the shit out of her. When did she fall in love with the mother of her son, her parents' mortal enemy, the mayor, the Evil Queen, and Regina Mills?

Regina reached for the faucet and turned it off, stepping out of the shower as she felt Emma following closely behind. Emma grabbed a robe and wrapped it around Regina, rubbing it slightly as the action dried her off a little bit. Regina leaned back into Emma and smiled contentedly, shutting her eyes as Emma kissed her temple, her hands continued action and affection brought warmth to the brunette. When Emma felt that Regina's side had been sufficiently dried, she took another towel to dry her hair, wringing the water out and massaged her head gently. Regina's eyes remained closed, soaking in the affection as her lips remained curled into a smile. Emma recognised it, knowing that the brunette was hiding the emotions that would surely be betrayed by those brown orbs. She kissed Regina's shoulder blades and stepped away from her, grabbing her robe to wrap around herself.

When she had finished the same routine on herself, Emma pushed past Regina to enter her bedroom, cool by comparison to the steamy bathroom. She slipped her panties back on and her bra, then she tugged her jeans back on as well. She checked her phone for the time and found that it was half past seven at night. She was supposed to be on Killian's boat an hour ago to help with the preparation for Dopey's birthday. She didn't know dwarves had birthdays but apparently they are following the dates that their cursed selves were supposedly born. It was a party which would be followed by a cruise until midnight, then the rest of them would go home.

"Shit," she cursed under her breath as she hunted for tank top around the room. "What?" Regina asked, entering the room as she used her fingers to comb through her short locks.

"I'm supposed to be on the boat right now," Emma said, indicating to her phone as she scrolled through. "He called me six time and there's around nine messages from him. Then I have my mom, my dad, Henry and Ruby." Emma sighed frustratedly, "I guess I'll tell them I dozed off at the station and that I'm on my way." She prepared to press onto the screen of her Iphone to call her boyfriend.

Emma didn't notice that Regina had walked towards her until the brunette used her hands to tug the phone away from Emma's hands. "Don't," she said simply, her brown orbs swirled with untold emotions from their time in the bathroom. "Stay," she said simply, knowing that she wouldn't be able to use her sex to keep Emma by her side this time. It was time to lose even more of yourself, to admit that you need her. To beg her to remain with you instead of leaving with the promise of returning.

"S-stay?" Emma croaked, her voice breaking from the screaming that she had done in the shower earlier. The sheriff surprised herself since she was considering Regina's proposition seriously.

Regina nodded, "Please?" she asked her, lowering her head slightly to the floor as she peeked up at Emma through her eyelashes. A few weeks ago, Regina Mills would scoff and throw a fireball at someone who would dare suggest that she submit to Emma, the White Knight, Saviour and mother of her son but here she was, almost begging her love to stay by her side.

"Uh-S-sure, honey." Emma was shocked by the words that fell out of her mouth but she was just so mesmerised by Regina's eyes, which were swirling like deep pools of dark chocolate. And just like the chocolate, Regina was slightly dark but had a rich underlying sweetness. Something that Emma found to be true from the moment she looked into those eyes that night. Regina's eyes were filled with hope and a twinge of sadness that made denying her impossible for Emma. The Saviour felt her heart drown in her affections for Regina as the brunette wrapped her arms around the blonde's waist in a tight embrace.

Regina smiled softly and lifted her head to kiss Emma on the corner of her lips, Emma staring at her eyes which she knew were glistening from the unshed tears of joy and happiness. Regina tucked her head into Emma's neck and mumbled a thank you, holding the blonde tighter as she said those words. Emma only grinned at Regina's shy and uncharacteristic display, happy that she was probably one of the only few people, alive or dead, that has seen this side Regina.

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><p>Regina softly kissed Emma's flesh above her breast, the blonde's arms draped carelessly around her, a hand constantly traced the olive skin on her back. They lost track of the time they spent like this, lying on her bed in each other's arms. Emma occasionally kissed Regina's neck, sucking and nibbling lightly while her hands continued to tract Regina's body. Regina would place small kisses on Emma's chest when the blonde wasn't focused on her neck. They were both half dressed, with Emma in her jeans and bra while Regina wore one of Emma's large t-shirts that had found its way into her closet. They were not having foreplay or anywhere near sex, just simply cuddling and being affectionate with each other. Regina couldn't think of a better feeling than when she is in Emma's arms, nothing could rival Emma's embraces with the exception of Henry's hugs. The sex was mind-blowing, Regina could admit, Emma made her realise the full pleasure of sex unlike any other of her previous partners. The former queen was well aware of the irrational and dangerous happiness that she feels in Emma's arms stem from the love and warmth that she received.<p>

"This is nice," Emma murmured softly as she continued staring at the ceiling, enjoying the feeling of Regina's body melted into hers, "I'm glad I stayed, instead of going to a stupid party." Regina smiled and Emma continued while staring deeply into those eyes, "I like feeling and hearing your breathe next to me." Regina, whose heart tugged at Emma's confession, melted even further and decided that her honest approach to Emma could continue. "I wish we could always be like this, Emma," she admitted softly as she got lost in Emma's emerald pools.

"Sometimes I do too, honey," Emma said, kissing her on her forehead, "Sometimes I think that being with you is the only thing that will make me happy, other than Henry, but there are times…" She trailed off, not sure how to continue her intended sentence.

Regina finished the sentence for him, swallowing the pain and bitterness that slowly seemed in from the darker parts of her heart, "where you think Hook is the one who makes you happy," she said flatly, almost in disbelief.

"I don't know, Gina," Emma responded, "When I'm around you, I feel safe and at peace, like I'm complete. But a part of me wonders is this is just me feeling guilty for cheating on my boyfriend, and being with you makes me feel less alone in the guilt because we're together. I don't even know if I'm making sense," Emma struggled to keep the frustration at her own inability to decipher her feelings for Regina.

Regina was in disbelief at the fact that they were actually having a discussion about this. The blonde's words stung despite emma's lack of intention to cut Regina's heart. Emma wasn't saying what she wanted to hear, she wasn't admitting any true love towards her. Despite the passion in the emerald eyes that she would see and the way her body responded to Regina's when they had sex. Emma's words remained hollow, free of attachment to her. And that hurt, as to quote Ruby, like a bitch.

Regina imagined in her mind where Emma would look at her one day and reply with those magical words that she wanted so desperately to hear, "I love you." Yet here, she held her tongue alike to the previous instances, refusing to say those three words with the fear of the inevitable rejection when Emma did not return those words.

Instead, she chose to throw questions at Emma instead. "Does the idea of breaking up with the one-handed pirate sound so impossible to you?" She sought to look into Emma's eyes, wishing desperately for the answer she wanted.

"Gina, it is more complicated. You know that." She sighed, stoking her back, "Let's just enjoy the night." Emma lifted the large t-shirt over Regina's head, kissing down the valley in between her breast. Her tongue flicked over one of the nipples, Regina's breathing growing slightly laboured as she buried her hands into golden locks.

Regina knew they were digressing, something they would do to avoid conflict and arguments were to have sex. They used sex as a stress reliever, to avoid serious conversation about the future of their affair and to show each other what they felt without having to say any words. Sex was a method of expression for Emma, for her to tell Regina all that she couldn't say to the brunette.

Emma kissed her breast almost aimlessly, peppering small bites and kissed all over her breast, as if she had no intention of progressing onto sex. She was enjoying a part of Regina's body that she loved very much. The sheriff took pride in them, whenever she saw that other people admired Regina's cleavage as they often did when she would wear her dresses and blouses. It's almost as if Emma's chest would puff with the knowledge that she was the only one who would get to touch her, that a lot of people, men or women alike, would die to worship Regina's breast as she was doing now. When she thought about the men and occasionally women who would admire her lover's body, she would kiss Regina's breast harder, making small suckles and bites that made Regina moan softly at the added pressure on her nipples.

The blonde continued pleasuring Regina, guilty for having once again disappointed her during their conversation. She cupped Regina's heat, running a finger on the side of her folds, tracing an outline of the wet sex with her fingers. Regina let out a loud moan as the blonde pushed a thumb to her clit. She moved her thumb around, circling the swollen tip which only spurred more reaction from Regina. She brought their lips together and inserted two fingers into the throbbing heat. She strokes Regina's folds a few times, the speed moderate to build the pressure for the brunette.

"F-fuck," Regina hissed and Emma smirked. She loved it when the usually regal and elegant mayor cursed when they were having sex, it made Emma instantly wet in her skinny jeans. "Faster, honey?" Emma's tone was so domestic, as if Regina had asked her to buy something at the convenience store and it made the brunette clench even tighter at the vision she imagined. "Yessss" she hissed again when Emma's current speed drove her crazy.

Emma picked up her speed, moving her two fingers rapidly as they pushed through the growing resistance from Regina's muscles. Regina vocalised her pleasure, relieved that the pressure was building up to a climax. When Regina's moans grew erratic as did Emma's thrust, they could both hear a familiar tone emit from Emma's phone on the side table.

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><p><strong>P.S<strong> Listen to the songs and drop a review telling me you have done so and your thoughts on the chapter! Looking forward to knowing what you think and to sending (each and everyone of) you the teaser!

T.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer : **I do not own Once Upon A Time and the characters featured in this television series.

**A/N : **Thanks for following and for favouriting my story as well as your reviews. Really appreciate the effort and time you took to let me know what you think. The following chapter will have more angst as the final scene is something most of you have probably wanted since Chapter 1. Hope you enjoy and don't forget to review for faster updates. They almost work better than caffeine and that's saying some something since I'm a coffee addict.

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><p><span><strong>In the Secret and Quiet<br>Chapter 5**

"Ignore it," Emma commanded roughly as she continued pounding Regina with her fingers, adding an additional digit to stretch the brunette's fold, "Just keep repeating my name, honey."

"Emma!" Regina screamed her name and as the annoying tone kept playing, indicating the caller's incessant need to reach Emma. The speed and tempo in which Emma used to bring her to a loud and Hugh climax made her arch herself to the blonde's touch and then crashed onto the bed.

"Was that good?" Emma asked smugly as she straddled Regina's thighs to kiss the brunette on her forehead lightly.

"Mmmhhh." Regina hummed softly, enjoying the weight of Emma above her as she struggled to ignore Emma's phone on the side table. She kissed Emma on the lips, eager to have the blonde's attention remaining with her.

"Good," Emma responded as she broke the kiss and sighed. Her phone's continued ringing was annoying to say the least and she reached for it on the side table. "It's Killian," Emma whispered into Regina's lips as she returned to her former position with the phone in her hand.

"Just ignore him, Emma" Regina murmured softly as she lost eye contact with Emma because the blonde's eyes kept shifting to the vibrating phone.

"No. I should probably answer. I only texted Dad about not attending. Killian is probably worried. He is my boyfriend after all," Emma said, those words suddenly filled her with guilt as she rolled off Regina to the other side of the bed.

"Yes and I'm just your sex buddy after all," Regina mumbled and Emma shot her a look as she pressed on the screen to answer the call.

"Hey, Killian," she said. "Yeah, I know. I'm so sorry...No, no, listen, Killian. I have a stomach bug. Yeah. It makes me sick and I vomit all the time. No I'm okay now. Thank you. I fell asleep so I didn't get your calls. I'm sorry. No! No don't stop the party on my account. I'm feeling much better now. They need you to sail after all. And you might catch it...I know… I hate that I missed out on Dopey's birthday. I should be fully recovered by Monday. So I'll just see you then. As hard as it is to do," Emma said in a false cheery tone as she meant it differently as how Regina assumed that one-handed pirate heard it.

"Okay. I'm going to go back to sleep. Tell Henry to stay with my parents and Happy Birthday to Dopey for me. Have a good time! Yeah Killian honey, I love you too. Bye," Emma hung up, replacing the phone on the table as she turned to face Regina on the bed. The brunette was visibly pissed and Emma hoped that the anger wasn't directed at her. She swallowed as she could practically feel the anger rolling off Regina, she would chance it and ask. She didn't want the brunette going to sleep angry.

"Is something wrong, Gina?" Emma asked, reaching for Regina's hand to take in her as she inched closer to the brunette on the bed.

Something snapped in Regina at Emma's question. _Everything. _"You call me honey," she said flatly as she exhaled a breath she had been holding. She wasn't angry anymore, she was numb as she realised that her life had become so difficult, secretive and painful after becoming the other woman since 6 weeks ago. Once she was the most feared person in the Enchanted Forest besides Rumplestiltskin and now, she was quite sure people would call her, a dirty little mistress to the Saviour.

Emma's eyebrows furrowed at Regina's sudden lack of anger and statement. "Uhm-You know I'm a bit slow. Yeah I blame it on my father but so...? What does me calling you honey have to do with anything?" Emma asked, confused by Regina questioning the term of endearment she always used on the brunette. She was even pretty sure that Regina secretly loved it until now.

"So, you call that one-handed fool and me by the same endearment, Miss Swan. I don't want to be called something that you use with all your other boyfriends or girlfriends." Regina reached forward to grab the large T-shirt hanging by the edge of the bed and stared Emma down.

"All my other what-? Slow down, Gina. There's no plural. Just one boyfriend and that's Killian," Emma said frustratedly, as she ran her hand through her blonde hair. Now she was back to Miss Swan with Regina. Great.

"Well, don't call me by that term anymore," Regina said seriously.

"Why the hell not, honey?" Emma said, purposefully adding the forbidden term at the end of her question. They have always been so good at riling each other up, poking the right buttons to elicit the most angered and frustrated response. Ever since the first morning Emma was in town.

Regina glowered at the blatant provocation as she fumed at herself internally for being that insecure jealous crazy woman that she never thought she would ever be. "Because I said so, Miss Swan." She knew Emma hated it when she called her that. She said so in a tone that left no room for argument. So definite that she hoped for once, Emma wouldn't be the exception to that rule. She locked her jaw and stared into those emerald eyes that gleamed with mischief.

"Oh yeah? Should I get punished for breaking the rules, Madame Mayor?" Emma said softly as she grinned and used her hands to caress Regina's cheeks. She had to do her part in breaking the tense atmosphere. Kissing the lush lips gently, "Okay Gina, I would do anything for you."

_Not anything. Like say I love you. _"I can think of a few exceptions," Regina husked, her voice on the verge of breaking as she realises what she is about to do. Emma could see that Regina wasn't angry anymore but rather sad and as if she was defeated. The blonde didn't understand why what she said elicited that response. She assumed Regina would melt and smiled that smile usually reserved for Henry or herself when they were alone. Then again, Regina wasn't most people. Emma didn't say anything, she could tell by instinct that the brunette had more to say. "He gets an 'I love you'," Regina whispers accusingly.

Emma's eyes widened as she gaped at Regina's whispered accusations, loss for words.

"It's not even true, Emma," Regina said, gaining courage as her voice increased in volume slightly, "Emma, I know you don't love him." _You love me, not him._

"Regina, I don't know what to say," Emma said steadily, determined to remain calm despite the alarm bells that rang inside her brain, "I can tell you that I'm not sure what exactly I feel right now but I do think that I love Killian. If I have to, I can accept the fact that I love you both."

Regina hears those words that fall out of Emma's mouth and laughs. She laughs brokenly and painfully unamused at the fact that the first time those words are directed at her, it is when Emma tells her that she loves someone else as well. She looks at Emma and she realises that the blonde has absolutely no idea how those words have broken parts of her that she will never mend. Tears pool in her eyes as her lips curl into a broken smile, a smile devoid of the happiness she was sure Emma was going to provide.

Emma's forehead creases at the obviously fake and almost-pained laughter from Regina, she wondered if Regina was laughing at her. She was personally frustrated and annoyed at herself too. She didn't like being indecisive or fickle-minded and she knew Regina didn't suffer fools. Emma reaches out, intending to hold Regina's hands in hers, an action that would have surely warmed Regina's heart if it wasn't breaking at this moment.

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><p>"I have a headache," Regina half-lied. She could feel the constriction in her chest and head as she was aware how their hands fit perfectly with each other's. She found it difficult to breathe, her vision clouding as she realised the anxiety and tension made its manifestation physically.<p>

"What?" Emma detached on of her hands from the hold to press her palm against the forehead. She wanted to know if Regina was falling ill from their time in the bathroom. Maybe the brunette was catching a cold. When she found the forehead cool, she reached forward to pull Regina's shoulders into her own body gently, hoping to comfort the older woman with some body comfort. Truthfully, she was scared that the mother of her son would run away from her, abandon her like those foster families had when she was younger. She was afraid to let the usually closed off brunette out of her grasp. Regina only needed a few seconds away from her to rebuild her walls and Emma would be dammed if the brunette started rebuilding them. She was far too good at it. After all, it takes one to know one.

Emma was painfully aware that in her case, Regina had actual cause to protect her heart because the Saviour was actually tempted to do so as well. Everything with Regina felt so true and real. Something that terrified and shook Emma to the core. At the moment though, Emma needed to reassure Regina, to make sure that the brunette would not close herself off from her. Emma was selfish, she knew that she was being selfish with Regina. For once in her life, she was in a position where she could be selfish. She knew, to a certain level consciously and definitely subconsciously that Regina loved her. She had known for some time, since the morning when she caught Regina staring at her when the brunette thought she was asleep. The amount of love and warmth under Regina's gaze was something that Emma never wanted to forget. She realised how privileged Henry was because for his entire life, Regina had looked at him like that. Even when he didn't want her. Even when he broke her heart repeatedly. Emma felt secured and safe, soothed from the childhood nightmares because Regina loved her.

At times, she was aware how unfair it was for her to be selfish with Regina's love, to take without giving the brunette the peace of mind and to save her from the shadows. But ultimately she did nothing to stop it because Emma Swan, Saviour and Sheriff, the upholder of moral standards and ambassador of the good side, was selfish and knowingly so too. She was selfish, greedy and curious. So she took advantage of Regina Mills, former Evil Queen and Mayor, the supposed personification of evil whose anger and supposed selfishness drove her to take away everyone's happy ending. Or so it seemed to the people who didn't know the real story of heartbreak, torture and neglect at the hands of people who were supposed to cherish her. Selfishness that Emma possessed since she only held the brunette tighter as she buried her nose into Regina's hair.

Regina felt like she was suffocating in Emma's embrace, a feeling she didn't think would apply until now as she breathed in Emma's scent. She needed to run, to have the space to rebuild her walls to prevent Emma from taking parts of her heart again. She felt like her head was underwater, as if she was sinking deeper into the dark depths in her heart. Love shouldn't make you feel like a sex toy or fuck buddy. Regina had read somewhere that love was selfless, something she had to learn the hard way with Henry and now, Emma. Despite having never felt love from her heartless mother, only timid love from her father and for a very short time from Daniel, Regina was someone who loved with her whole being. A characteristic that she realised Emma was taking full advantage of. Emma was selfish with her love and the fact that the blonde would be contented keeping Regina in the shadows while being with Hook in public was proof enough. Regina's eyes pooled with tears as that truth sat on her chest like a weight.

"Why don't you lie down and rest. You might feel better then and I can bring some medicine and tea for you," Emma said softly as she guided Regina to lay down.

"No." she said softly, her voice rough from emotion as she remained seated upright in her bed.

"Huh? Gina, you need-" Emma tried to coax Regina to rest but Regina interjected, "No, don't try to help me rest."

"Make a choice," Regina said as she stared into Emma's emerald orbs that widened from confusion. "Now."

"I d-don't-Uhm-what?" Emma croaked, playing dumb as she pretended no to understand the choice Regina was asking her to make.

"You either pick me and only me, or you leave," Regina said firmly despite feeling an immense amount of fear, something she hasn't felt since Henry disappeared into a portal at the pier. She refused to be caught off guard by Emma if the blonde decided to leave her one day. She was Regina Mills and she would beat Emma to the punchline.

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><p><strong>P.S <strong>Tell me if you love or hate it, please? :)  
><strong>P.P.S <strong>BTW, I have one more song to add to our playlist. To those who actually listened to the songs I shared previously, here's another one, "Stay" by Sara Bareilles. Hope the continuation of the teaser I sent is pleasing to you. To those who didn't listen to them or have heard them but didn't review, you can still do so and I will send you the teaser for Chapter 6.

T.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer : **I do not own Once Upon A Time and the characters featured in this television series.

**A/N : **Thank you for all your awesome reviews, follows and favourites! I won't spoil anything for you and I know you must be anxious to know Emma's decision, so enjoy! Don't forget to review, okay?

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><p><em>Previously in Chapter 5<em>

_"You either pick me and only me, or you leave," Regina said firmly despite feeling an immense amount of fear, something she hasn't felt since Henry disappeared into a portal at the pier. She refused to be caught off guard by Emma if the blonde decided to leave her one day. She was Regina Mills and she would beat Emma to the punchline._

**In The Secret and Quiet  
><strong>**Chapter 6**

Emma stared dumbfounded at Regina for a few seconds, and then blinked a few times while she shook her head. Regina thought that the blonde had never resembled her father as much before until just now as she looked at the blonde pointedly. "Regina, you knew what this was when we started. I mean I-uhm-I care about you. You have to know that I do. Even if this-if we didn't happened, you are still Henry's mother and I am eternally grateful that he didn't end up in some shitty group home somewhere. But I just can't…I mean… Regina you're the one who-uhm. What I mean is that, this is an affair. Are you saying that you want to end things between us now?" She combed her fingers through her blonde locks, frustrated at her own lack of eloquence. She looked at the brunette on the cream coloured silk sheets and hoped that Regina would forget this whole thing and just let them cuddle.

Regina swallowed. Of course, Emma would choose to deflect the damn question. She had yet to directly answer her question. As she replayed the blonde's words in her mind, Regina then had a painful realisation that the blonde had actually answered the question. She had asked Emma to choose her over Hook, and the blonde had actually asked her if she wanted to end things between them. What that meant, as it became obvious to Regina, was that if she was going to make Emma choose, the blonde was going to choose to end things with her instead of breaking things off with Hook. She looked away from Emma's widened and confused emerald orbs and looked to at her bed. A part of her wanted to laugh because she wouldn't be able to stop the alternative. Like floodgates, Regina was sure if she just allowed a tear to fall, she'd be a weeping mess in front of Emma. Oh for the love of God, if he even exists, it felt like Regina had just sprayed acid onto her own heart.

"I want the hiding to end, not us," Regina said softly, "I want a relationship with you." _To build a life and have a family with you and Henry. I want you to be just mine, Emma._

"We have a relationship," Emma argued.

"I want an exclusive relationship with you," Regina said, returning her gaze into Emma's eyes as she decided that if she had already started the acid bath, she might as well commit to a full immersion. "I want to be the only one you kiss and hold. I want to be the only one YOU want to kiss and hold. I want you to hold me while we sit on that bench of yours. Can't you get it in your thick skull that I want to be able to hold your hands while we have breakfasts at Granny's with Henry. I want you to call me and tell me if you're going to be working late and I want most for you to tell me you love ME. Me and only me, without the inclusion of someone else in the same damn sentence when you say it to my face. Not him," Regina couldn't say his name, not when Emma could make the decision to leave her for him at any moment now. It hurt too much but Regina felt relieved to finally tell Emma all these things. To tell her what she truly wanted from the blonde.

Emma was silent but it felt like lifetimes for the both of them. She bit her lower lip and her expression was a pained one. She looked down at her palms and uncurled them from their tight clenches. She returned her gaze into those mesmerizing brown orbs and saw the gorgeous brunette sitting on the bed, trying not to fidget, she was sure. Like her, staying still was never really Regina's thing. Her beautiful Regina since six weeks ago, and would remain hers if she broke up with her boyfriend for her. Regina had just confessed to a multitude of things that she actually wanted from Emma, she wanted the full thing. Oh God she wants to be with me for real. To raise Henry together like a couple and do all those coupley things she did with Hook.

She sighed loudly and leaned forward, stopping before she made contact with the brunette. Regina looked at Emma curiously as the blonde reached out to brush some of her hair behind her ear and cupped her face with both her hands.

Emma held Regina's face, as if to cherish every single detail, from her nose to the scar above her lips, looking deep into her chocolate brown eyes. She leant forward to capture those lush lips into her softly, a kiss so tender that Regina had melted into. When the blonde finally broke the kiss to rest their forehead together, Regina smiled, as their eyes remained closed. She was certain, in that moment, that Emma's arms was where she belonged, where she was intended to be, where she would finally get her happy ending.

"I'm sorry, Regina." Emma whispered against her lips, the soft breath felt like a knife as it ghosted her own lips.

Regina's eyes flew open and she felt a part of her sink into the abyss at the weight of her words. She had misread the soft kiss, thinking that alike every other fairy tale, her happy ending would begin with a kiss. That it was the start of a very wonderful life together but the kiss was an ending. She was leaving her. She wasn't choosing her. In those three words, she had chosen that wretched pirate over her. In those three words, Emma had ended all of Regina's hope that she would say those elusive three words that she had been desperately waiting to hear since four weeks ago.

"What?" She said, hoping to whichever deity out there, that it was just her own ghosts and insecurities playing tricks on her ears. Emma bit her lips and looked as if someone had sliced her guts but Regina was sure between the both of them, she was the one who was on the verge of letting blood. Tears pooled in her eyes as she closed her eyes at the silence that she received from Emma, a lone tear slid down her cheeks. _Dammit!_ She was Regina fucking Mills, and she would not continue to be a fool, to hope that people she loved would actually love her, and not hurt her repeatedly.

"Oh honey, don't cry," Emma said softly and Regina could hear the raw emotion in the blonde's voice. Oh how righteous pity sounded when it came from the Saviour! She had swore many years ago that no man or woman would ever pity her. She would not allow Emma fucking Swan to be exception. Regina channelled all of her overwhelming sadness and heartbreak into an emotion she knew best, anger.

"Don't call me honey," she hissed, in a voice filled with hatred that brought Regina back to her Evil Queen days. Emma slid off the bed as if the words had actually pained her physically. _Now you know how I feel, Saviour!_ The temptation for her to throw fireballs at Emma was at a new high and she wanted to so badly. When she lifted her palm to try and conjure her usual fireball, she was surprised when her magic failed. She looked pointedly at Emma as if to ask the blonde if she was restraining her magic.

Emma put her hands up, to show her innocence as she said, "I would never do that to you, sweetheart," she tried to walk forward, her arms wide open as if to hug her and comfort her. Regina laughed mirthlessly at Emma's statement. Oh the blonde wouldn't use magic on her but Emma would just slice and stomp on her heart and love. She wanted Emma to pick her, choose her and love her.

"Get out." She hissed while Emma looked so sorry and tried to come closer again.

"Get out!" she screamed at the blonde this time and Emma was pretty sure, half, if not all of Storybrooke could hear the brunette.

Emma stepped further from Regina, but she didn't leave the room, just fidgeting nervously as she fumbled with her hands, desperately searching her brain cells to figure out what to do to appease her mistress.

"GET OUT!" Regina screamed at Emma again, her voice cracked and she was filled with so much self-hatred at the fact that she couldn't control her emotions or magic around Emma as well as heartache and definitely hatred towards Emma for her cruelty.

"Regina," Emma tried once more to soothe her and to get her to talk rationally and calmly.

Regina closed her eyes to remove the vision of Emma from her sight and wished for the blonde to be in her stupid car and drive off. She could feel her body shaking from the anger, pain and hurt. She cried because this was really the end for them. She had issued the ultimatum to Emma, placed the universe-size hope on Emma to save her, to do as her title—Saviour and bring her from the dark. Bring them from the dark and into the sun. Regina was sure they would have been so happy together if only the blonde had loved her enough to pick her. If only Regina was worthy of unconditional and undivided love from someone. She was sure not even her son loved her like that despite all that she has done for him. She squeezed her eyes shut tight and wished for the blonde to leave her house and without Regina's knowledge, her wish came true and suddenly Emma found herself in her yellow Bug.

When she got out of the car and tried to step onto Regina's front lawn, Emma found herself back at her own apartment. I thought her magic wasn't working? And the smoke wasn't the usual purple. Emma thought about Regina and a vision of the brunette formed behind her eyelids as she laid in her bed, she was sorry for everything she had put her through. Regina didn't deserve to be treated that way and the blonde knew she didn't deserve Regina's all encompassing and unconditional love. She wanted so badly to tell Regina that everything would be okay, they were going to be okay and to make the other mother of her son truly happy. But she had a boyfriend. She had obligations to Killian and they had made plans for the future. Plans that she was determined to commit to when they had made them a few months ago but then, she had started things with Regina. Now, she didn't think about those plans anymore. Only Regina filled her mind recently and Emma was aware how her feelings for the brunette were blurring the lines of an no-feelings-attached affair. She was definitely too much of her parents' daughter and she loathed the fact that she was as stupid and hurtful as both Snow and Charming towards Regina. "Fucking hell! UGHH!"

When Regina slowly calmed her heart rate down and her own heartbeat was no longer pounding in her ears, she realised that she couldn't hear anyone else in the room with her. Emma had left but when? Regina didn't think the blonde would actually have just left while Regina had her eyes closed and was visibly distraught. She had known the blonde to be relentless when she wanted to be, when she wanted to prove something or get in your face. Then again, as proven, she doesn't actually want Regina that much after all.

"She didn't pick me," Regina whispered to nothing but her breaking heart as she laid in bed and stared straight above, at the ceiling. If she turned her head, the tears that clouded her vision would fall. "She doesn't love me," she whispered as she struggled to breathe. She wondered if it was possible for someone's insides to feel so twisted and bruised. Regina kept replaying the moments she shared with Emma during their time together, replaying for the last time in her mind while she repeated the previous phrase like a mantra. _She doesn't love you. Never did, never will. _And the time came for natural light to stream into her bedroom through the windows, Regina was wide awake, staring at the ceiling. It was a haunting sight of Regina's cheeks and the side of her face stained with dried tears as the blood dried on her lips from having bitten on them to keep herself from sobbing aloud.

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><p><strong>P.S <strong>Now that you know Emma's choice, tell me what you think? I know most of you will hate the fact that she didn't choose Regina but rest assured that SQ is the pairing that I want to end this fic with. So, as a sign of good faith because you guys might totally hate me for the angst, the next chapter will be lighter. But you have to tell me what you think in terms of writing wise and plot-wise (where you want it to go/think it's going)...Also, any feedback on Regina's reaction?

Can't wait to hear from all of you! :) Holler if you got the Grey's reference? ;)

T.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer : **I do not own Once Upon A Time and the characters featured in this television series.

**A/N : **Thank you for all your awesome reviews, follows and favourites! Appreciate your feedback on Regina's reaction. Pretty worried about writing her, if you can't tell that I am. Also just a special response to a review regarding my postscipt. I don't think I'm giving any spoilers by saying that this fic will end in SwanQueen(duh!), just wanting to give assurance and hope to readers who have invested in my story emotionally. I am not just writing for myself but also my readers who have faithfully and wonderfully reviewed, favourited and followed my story. There IS a reason why I only picked Regina and Emma in the character list for the description. Hook is merely a plot TOOL (to me), used to further my story and generate the angst I want to create. :D Hope all of you enjoy the following chapter! :)

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><p><strong><strong>In The Secret and Quiet<br>Chapter 7 ****

"Watch where you are going, Miss Lucas," Regina hissed in pain as she stepped back from her collision with Ruby in the hallway near the bathroom. Her glare at Ruby had softened considerably as soon as she saw the perplexed and confused look on the she-wolf's face but her eyes were hidden by a pair of sunglasses. She didn't want to come to the diner for breakfast but it was her turn to have Henry this week and he insisted. She started wearing sunglasses when she was out because she didn't want her eyes to betray her vulnerabilities. She couldn't do so around the house but Henry thought her eyes were swollen from allergies. She was frankly surprised at how easy he bought the lie. Then again, just because he is Emma's son doesn't mean he inherited her full lie-detecting abilities.

Emma could always tell when Regina was lying. No, she had to stop thinking about Emma. She had to stop before her body broke down completely. A day after Regina and Emma ended things, Regina started heaving and hurling everything she ate or didn't even eat. Leave it to her body and heart to betray her and physically yearn for the blonde. Regina had been vomiting sporadically throughout the day and it was a good thing that she had her own bathroom at the Town Hall because Regina spends at least half an hour every two hours kneeling on the floor of said bathroom. It was easy to hide her sickness from Henry when she told him to have dinner with his grandparents almost every night. By the time they both got home after she picked him up, he assumed or she would let him assume that she already had dinner.

Henry thought that his mother didn't want people to see her slightly swollen and reddish eyes, so he was perfectly understanding about Regina wearing her sunglasses while they were out. He even helped her pick them out from her dresser and it made her reminisce how he would try to tell her what to wear when he was younger, often choosing something conservative because he didn't like how Sidney would look at his mommy funny. When they had gotten there, Regina was thankful that a certain Sheriff was out of sight because she didn't need the additional stress besides feeling sick to her stomach about the thought of food.

It had been two weeks since Emma left Regina, and it was a very stressful two weeks for the mayor. It turned out that she was actually falling sick that night that Emma had left. It was stressful at work where she had multiple reasons to see the sheriff every few days due to the preparation for the summer festival, she had spend most of her concentration avoiding eye contact with said blonde who gave her sad looks when she thought no one was watching. Only when no one was watching. She wasn't even able to look at Hook on the chance occasion where they would bump into each other near Snow and Charming's loft. That wretched and poor excuse of a man. She was also afraid that she might become too transparent or fall into the temptation of seeking comfort from her friends and therefore decided to put up a busy front in her office. She had spent an inordinate amount of time combing through files and documents when she wasn't on the bathroom floor. Even then, in between bouts and after the work was done, she would usually distract herself with a good crossword puzzle. She wasn't completely toothless though because she was sure her assistant was at her wits end about Regina's moodiness. She was also quite sure Happy wasn't happy at all when he thought the Evil Queen was going to kill him for saying the word "Great!" too many times when he was rambling about something during their meeting.

She had ordered coffee while she tried not to feel nauseous over the sight of Henry scarfing down the breakfast set and French toast. How he could inhale his food, she was sure he inherited from his biological mother. Emma. She-Okay, stop! As they finished their meal and the time came for Henry to take the bus to school, Regina felt a familiar stirring in her stomach cavity. She gave Henry some lunch money and bid him goodbye, telling him to go ahead because she wanted to have another cup of coffee, even though the thought alone made her think she'd lose the first cup right in front of Henry. As soon as he said goodbye to her and exited the diner, she walked as fast as possible (without raising suspicion) to the bathroom just in time for her body to deny coffee. Just great. She could now add coffee to the growing list of things The foods and drinks she had on the Allowed-To-Eat List was growing lesser by the hour it seems.

She was internally worried about any patrons that might have heard her hurling from the hallway, entirely forgetting the fact that Ruby had enhanced hearing. She was sick, tired of puking and basically hungry all the time. Something that did little to make her a happy Mayor or friend when she felt Ruby crash into her outside of the bathroom. "Miss Lucas? Haven't heard that in a while. Regina are you alright?" Ruby asked worriedly as she studied Regina from head to toe, taking in the sunglasses adorned as well as the knowledge of having heard the older brunette puke her guts out and something else too but the she-wolf needed to be sure before she Said anything conclusive to the brunette before her. "Oh-Ruby. Sorry. You just caught me off guard, that's all. I've called you Miss Lucas for 28 years. Matter of habit and all..." Regina tried to convincingly say in a light tone and trailed off, unsure if her act was believable. She didn't need Ruby to suspect anything or she was sure the lanky brunette would alert Tink and Katherine. The last thing she could handle was a full interrogation or them playing nurse with her. The last time Tink decided to nurse Regina back to health from a major flu, the mayor ended up with food poisoning from the soup the blonde had made. An occurrence she was sure her body could not withstand at this point.

"Mm-hmm," the she-wolf hummed lightly as she took out her phone and scrolled on the screen to a specific contact, "Hey-yeah. So you know what you told me the other day? I actually think there's something else. You can bring them over to her house now and I'll bring her," Ruby said with a smirk and gleam into the phone as Regina quirked her eyebrows at the other brunette's lack of response to her apology and suspicious facial expression on the phone. She attempted to sidestep Ruby to return to the main dining area but Ruby blocked her path. "Excuse me, Ruby. I should get to work. Maybe you can get me the bill or should I can come to the counter to pay. There's so much work to do," Regina said in a false anxiousness over crosswords puzzles that waited for her on her desk. It seems that heartbreak made her work far too efficiently. Well, at least there is that part of the Evil Queen she retained as well. "Really, Regina. I'm sure the crosswords can wait," Ruby smirked as she picked up a deer-caught-in-headlights Regina and carried her, bridal-style towards the backdoor.

"What the hell are you doing, Ruby Red Lucas?" Regina hissed as she didn't think her dead mother would appreciate her throwing all her lady lessons down the drain while she rolled in her grave every day about how weak Regina was if Regina screamed at Ruby. She had to admit she was weak though. How could one not be when one was a sex toy to the Saviour that broke their own curse? Ugh she hated herself so much and Ruby was now asking to be on the list. "Don't worry, Reggie! Everyone's busy eating, they won't realise you're being carried into my Camaro," Ruby said assuredly, as if Regina's concerns were perfectly expected and handled.

Sure, Regina was worried about people seeing her but she was more concerned about the fact that she was being taken against her will by a werewolf that spoke ominously to someone on the phone. Who was it on the other side of the line? How the hell did she know about the crosswords? She was sure her assistant, Rachel had gotten the short and quick tempered madame mayor that would have surely left her thinking that they were very busy. "I told you not to call me Reggie!" Regina hissed again as she tried to struggle out of Ruby's strong hold on her. She was pretty sure she didn't weigh like a feather yet to the she-wolf, it was barely any effort to carry and maintain the brunette in her arms.

"RUBY LUCAS! Why are you carrying Regina?!" Suddenly, a familiar voice from behind them interrupted Regina and Ruby's smooth getaway. Regina stiffened immediately to the angry intonation of the voice and swallowed while Ruby only nodded assuringly at her as the she-wolf turned around and smiled brightly, flashing her teeth into a full grin. Regina decided then, while her feet were in the air thanks to Ruby, that Ruby never looked more wolfish in her human form until now.

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><p>"I don't understand why you would choose to say that. Of all things that you could have used as a reason. Seriously, Ruby. I could have had a sprained ankle. If you wanted to kidnap me, you should have thought of a better escape plan," Regina strut her way towards her own house, worried about what awaited her inside but she wanted far too much to show Ruby that she was angry at her to slowly walk. One of the reason was also because she would hate to, as Ruby would say, toss her cookies on her front lawn.<p>

Ruby merely laughed because she felt that her reason was perfect. She got a ton of fun out of it and she supposed Regina didn't appreciate it because she was submitted to a judgmental eyebrow quirk. Wait till Tink hears about this. Ruby was sure she would get to laugh like a hyena with the blonde. The former fairy was as mischievous as she was when it came to these sort of things. Regina didn't need to unlock her door as she was greeted by Katherine and Tink smiling widely at both brunettes. Regina could only roll her eyes at their cheshire grins because all she really wanted to do was to take a bath and sleep because she was exhausted. She was sure she had lost weight over the constant vomiting and lack of sleep from tossing and turning. It seems that her body has been attuned to sleeping with Emma's body around. Ugh fuck this, she thought crudely. Her inner filter had always been less lady-like than her mother would approve ever since back in the Enchanted Forest.

"Welcome. Make yourself at home." she hissed as she walked past them, removing her heels for slippers once she was inside. Her balance wasn't at its best these days and while she was home and Henry wasn't, she had no need to pretend to slowly walk to the bathroom. Furthermore, she was sure the three other women in her house was already well aware of her sickness. Far too aware for that matter. How they got to know was something which she was going to find out when she felt better. She had walked directly into the kitchen with the intent on making tea for herself, her uninvited guests and kidnapper. Never let it be said that Regina Mills wasn't a good host in her own home. Katherine followed behind Regina while the blonde left Tink with Ruby who was being interrogated on why their friend was being so moody. Katherine was sure the methods in which Ruby had taken to bring Regina was less than appreciated by Regina herself. She sat down by the breakfast bar as she studied the brunette who was preparing tea intensely, an action which she secretly found funny because it would annoy Regina to wits end. Both former royalty appreciated the silence as Regina mentally prepared herself for whatever her friends were going to make her suffer through.

By the time Ruby and Tink joined them, both of them were laughing and they had tears in at the corner of their eyes. Regina's scowl returned at their presence because she was still not amused by the stunt that Ruby had pulled back at the diner but a part of the former monarch found Ruby's stunt ingenious. Ruby and Tink could barely conceal their laughter as they joined Katherine at the breakfast bar. "At the risk of being crucified by the mayor, I have to ask if you are secretly finding it hilarious or is it actually something really stupid?" Katherine asked, now curious about what exactly happened because judging by the hidden mirth in Regina's eyes, it couldn't have been that bad.

Ruby motioned to speak but Regina held up her hand to stop the she-wolf while Tink burst into laughter. Ruby just pouted at the fact that she wasn't allowed to tell the story and the fun of telling it to Katherine. "Your friend here decided to bring me here by carrying me bridal-style out of the diner from the back door after ending her call with one of you," Regina said while she poured the tea into four cups and brought it over to them. Before she continued, Katherine smacked Ruby as she hissed something into the she-wolf's ears. Regina didn't catch what was said but could make out Ruby's defensive response about how she wouldn't have allowed Regina to fall. "The worst is not over because just as we were about to reach her car, Snow stopped us. She asked Ruby why she was carrying me and our very very dear friend here decided to say the first thing that came to her," Regina looked at Ruby pointedly but the she-wolf was shameless and merely grinned wolfishly again.

Tink jumped to her defence, protesting about how it was actually very creative and how Ruby had no time to think of an appropriate response. Katherine looked at Regina who seemed hesitant to tell them what Ruby had actually said to the former monarch's mortal enemy. "So what did you say, Rubes?"

Ruby mumbled incoherently while Regina merely smirked at the suddenly shy she-wolf. "Go on, Ruby. This is your time to shine," short of putting up jazzhands, Regina had a faux-excited tone in her voice that made it so much worse for Ruby. Tink had barreled over in laughter at this point because she had known what the she-wolf said and Snow's response along with it.

Ruby looked at Regina whose eyes no longer held the same anger as she did in the car and realised that the older brunette actually found it funny. Talk about an actress! "When Snow asked me why I was carrying Regina, I said, 'Because I'm going to have my way with her in my car.'," Ruby said as she addressed Katherine. "To which Snow White's response was to turn red like one of my apples and faint," Regina continued while she finally showed her response to Snow's reaction. To Regina's chagrin, she realised almost immediately that Emma was going to hear about this. No doubt Snow White would be more than willing to add such a piece of information to the fodder for gossip. The woman was physically incapable of keeping secrets. Now that she was no longer with Emma, there would be no more possessive sex because the blonde was jealous. She had to remind herself constantly to stop thinking about Emma but her brain, alike to her body, betrayed her time and time again.

Her face fell to a frown and the other three women could only guess that it had something to do with issue that they were going to address with the blonde today. Ruby and Tink looked to Katherine who only nodded imperceptibly as she broke the silence. "We got you a gift." If Regina's eyebrows could shoot any higher, it would. She was not expecting Katherine to say or do something like that. She didn't really know what to expect other than the fact that her friends knew that she has been vomiting any and everything inside her.

"Oh?" Regina could only respond as Katherine reached for a paper bag inside of her handbag. Tink jumped in to explain, "Well the thing is, you didn't get it yourself, so Kat went to the drugstore and picked it up," as Katherine slip the paper bag in front of Regina. Regina"s eyebrows furrowed. There was nothing in the drugstore that would be something she needed to get for herself but didn't. Unless it was medicine to stop this incessant vomiting, then Regina would be grateful. She reached for the paper bag and pulled out a box. When her eyes settled on the item that Katherine had purchased for her, her brown orbs widened.

"Why would you give me something like this?" She spat out angrily as she looked at the three women she considered her friends. "Take it," Ruby insisted, her voice held a seriousness that rarely emerged but when it did, Ruby was serious. "No, I don't need to. Just because I'm vomiting all the time…," Regina tried to insist as she placed the box onto the table before them and crossed her arms. "Regina." Katherine's tone held authority as her royal background had drilled into her and Regina looked at her in surprise.

"You can't ignore this," Ruby said, "This is just prove for you. So, you're going to take the test while we wait," the she-wolf continued. Regina's eyes widened at Ruby's statement. If this was just prove for her, it meant that the wolf already knew what result that the test would bring. She looked at all three of them and realised that they were relentless and hard-headed, the kind of people that Regina gladly became friends with after everything that has happened and realised that there was no point fighting them on this.

"Fine, Your Majesties. I'll go pee on piece of plastic since you so wish," she said begrudgingly as her mind whirled from the very real possiblities that she could be pregnant from her affair with Emma.

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><p><strong>P.S <strong>So… was it as light as promised/expected? Also, tell me what you think. Any guesses for what the result will be? ;)

T.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer : **I do not own Once Upon A Time and the characters featured in this television series.

**A/N : **Thank you for the new follows and favourites. Good to know my fic is still being discovered and liked so far. A special thank you to those who reviewed for the last chapter. It's great to have some feedback even though the chapter was comparably fluffier. Really appreciate it and you're the kind of reader I write for. Hope all of you enjoy the following chapter!

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><p><strong>In The Secret and Quiet<br>Chapter 8**

Regina pinched the bridge of her nose, her head resting on her other hand as she looked at the home pregnancy kit on the bathroom counter, like it was about to explode at any moment. There was no protection that her friends could offer her or words that would soothe her erratically beating heart if she actually saw a plus sign appear. She wondered how long it had been while she burned holes into the test, a part of her hoped that it was negative because when she imagined herself having children, if she even had any of her own, she didn't think it would be the result of an affair. She wasn't traditional by any means after everything but she imagined herself in a happy and loving relationship.

She couldn't do it. She couldn't wait for the piece of plastic to tell her whether or not she was currently pregnant with her True love's child when they had cruelly chosen another over her. How fucking poetic. She had been so sure that Emma was her True Love and now that it was seconds from being proven, she was very distressed about the possibility. She washed and dried the kit properly, her hands wrapped around the display panel because she refused to look at it. The three people who decided that she had take the test could look at it for her. It was their idea anyway and they were the one who wanted proof.

When she walked back into the kitchen area, she told the three of them, "Tell me what it says when it's time," her voice was steady and as nonchalantly as possible since she refused to reveal to them her trepidation in knowing the results. Tink was the first to reach out as she nodded and visibly gulped. The former fairy's heart pounded in anticipation as she held the piece of plastic in her hands as her eyes shifted from Ruby to anxious Katherine and finally a stone-faced Regina. It was the longest one minute of her life as Regina sat with her closest friends at the breakfast bar in the kitchen, waiting for the most important result of Regina's life. The former monarch looked up from the marble top of the breakfast bar and studied Tink's reaction, trying to determine the answer. "Gina," Tink said slowly, using a nickname that immediately sent a pang to her heart as it reminded her of another blonde, "According to Kat, these things are rarely accurate the first time..."

"What?!" Regina's hand flew to her mouth as she dashed towards the ground floor bathroom. She didn't know what to think but her mind was blank as she felt someone hold her hair behind her face. She must have left the door open while she was in a rush because when she was sure she had no more to lose, she was handed a warm towel by Katherine. After she wiped her mouth, she was surprised by a pair of arms sweeping her off her feet and carrying her. She let out an undignified queak, a sound that surprised Regina but Ruby only grinned smugly. The she-wolf enjoyed woman-handling her far too much.

When she finally calmed her breathing and heart rate from the information that Tink revealed before her bathroom visit, she broke the silence, "So it's positive," she kept her voice steady as she took in their solemn expression. Regina didn't want for the test to be inaccurate but if it was, it meant that she was pregnant with Emma's child. This should have been news that made her leap for joy but it just magnified the cavity in her heart or the broken pieces of her heart that was left. Ruby felt a fresh surge of furious anger that rolled off the wolf in waves while Katherine struggled to keep her lips from asking the question that has been on their minds since Regina's secretary, Rachel shared the information of Regina's constant vomiting with her. They had suspected that their friend was dating someone since she had been happier but more secretive as the summer progressed. Tink wondered if Ruby could smell the other person from the baby's scent and was actually hiding the identity from Katherine and herself.

Regina looked fleetingly at Ruby before she looked back at her hands on her thighs, smoothing the invisible wrinkles on her skirt as she struggled to formulate a plan because she couldn't think. Not when her heart was pounding in her ears. She snapped up when she realised that she wanted more proof, perhaps Tink may be right in saying that the test isn't accurate. Although the back of her mind was nagging her at the fact that Ruby's nose and ears would have detected it the moment it started growing into more than a ball of cells. "I need you to get more of these tests, Katherine. One is not enough to proof that I am with child, for goodness sake," she huffed as she stood, lifting her hands to prevent her wolf friend from playing bodyguard/personal transporter, "I'm going to freshen up and change, then we can make lunch. I'm sure all of you can eat," Regina announced regally, as she tried to focus on getting to her room without losing any more of her stomach content.

A part of her actually wished it was just food poisoning or some unknown stomach illness. But a large part of her knew. The part of her that called out to her every time Henry called her mom, she knew and she wanted it. She wanted to have children with Daniel and after all that had happened since his death, she didn't think that it was a possibility even with Emma as her mother had made her barren. She had fleetingly thought of children with Emma when they were at their happiest, when Regina's heart wasn't weighed by the secrets and hiding. When Regina still had hope of a future with Emma and Henry.

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><p>Ruby left Katherine and Tink to prepare lunch in the kitchen while she volunteered to check on Regina. Ruby knocked and when she received no response from the woman whose heart was beating wildly in her chest, she decided to take a chance and turn the knob. When the door was unlocked, Ruby slipped in and took in the sight of Regina in casual clothes, yoga pants and loose t-shirt sans make-up, curled up into a ball in a fetal position on the bed. She wasn't crying or sobbing, just staring blankly at space while Ruby guessed that her thoughts were whirling in her mind.<p>

"You know you have to tell her," Ruby said, breaking the sacred silence that she knew Regina wanted.

Regina snapped from her blank space and sat up on the bed, glaring at the she-wolf, "Oh really? Thank you for your wonderful enlightenment," she threw a pillow at Ruby and hit her. A severely juvenile act she was sure but she hated the fact that Ruby now knew about her affair with Emma because of the baby's scent. She had made sure to be careful every single time after any dalliance with Emma to use magic to remove the blonde's scent. Since Emma wasn't the most vigilant or magically sensitive, Regina had to take extra precaution against Ruby and Granny who had sensitive abilities due to their wolf-counterpart. It made Regina paranoid and it was taxing on her magically on days where the blonde was insatiable. Not that she brought it up with Emma because she didn't want to add more guilt or burden onto her lover, or rather ex-lover's shoulders. So she would remove traces of Emma's scent on her after their quick encounters in her office, the station of anywhere else.

"And Henry," Ruby added softly, aware that Regina was merely releasing the stress in the most physically non-harmful way possible as she grabbed the pillow that flew in her direction. She bit her tongue but Katherine had reminded her that there were modern options available for Regina should she decide otherwise with her pregnancy. There would be no turning back for Regina with Henry and Emma if they ever found out about Regina's decision after her friend has decided. Not that it was their decision but Emma should at least be informed. Ruby looked at Regina nervously as she moved forward and sat at the edge of the bed, near the mayor's legs. "Well, that is, if you decide to keep the baby, I mean you have options in this world, Regina. I'm your friend and I will stand by your choice." She didn't know what went on between Emma and Regina but she was determined to stick by Regina.

Regina's eyes widened at Ruby's suggestion. Surely the she-wolf wasn't actually asking her if she would terminate her child. Her own flesh and blood. The proof and product of her love. Hers and Emma's. "If I decide to…" she trailed off, the possibility of how that sentence could end if she decided to seriously consider an option that Ruby just mentioned shook her to the bones. Regina could imagine why countless of teens and women would decide to do so. The fact that now she had physical and growing proof of her affair with Emma pained her. What does she tell Henry? The fact that she might have to do raise a child all over again was terrifying. And then who's to say the child wouldn't grow up resenting her for keeping her parentage a secret? She could hide this from Emma and Henry but would that be fair? Would the baby grow up to have Emma's features? She had raised Henry alone but if they found out that she had lied about this, there was no going back from that. If she ended her baby's life, Emma wouldn't have to know but obviously she had the right to know and chances are, Emma would kill her. No one would have to know about their child save Ruby, Katherine, Tink and herself. Perhaps Granny as well. She had read once that the procedure itself was almost painless but Regina was sure that her heart would be crushed beyond recognition and salvation if she ever chose to take such a dark step. She shifted her eyes to Ruby as the wolf produced more pregnancy kits from her back pocket but Regina shook her head.

"I don't need those if you just tell me the truth." Regina said flatly, unsure if knowing the answer would make it any easier to swallow the truth. She didn't know anymore. Nothing was certain in her life. Not since Emma Swan walked into the conference room that night. Ruby swallowed and answered evenly, "I can hear the heartbeat. I can smell a bit of you and her." Regina looked away, unable to stand the warm brown eyes that held nothing but concern for her, she didn't deserve friends like Ruby, Katherine and Tink. Regina's eyes filled with tears at the thought of her baby's heartbeat as she looked away, eager to avoid having Ruby see her more vulnerable. "Regina…" Ruby looked at the brunette and immediately moves forward to hug her friend, enveloping Regina in a tight embrace as Regina struggled not to let the floodgates break open.

"If I did it, she will never have to kn-know," Regina whispered into Ruby's shoulder. She closed her eyes as she realises the gravity of her consideration. "Woah. Wait," Ruby used both her hands to hold Regina gently and pushed her from their embrace, "Did you just say that Emma will never have to know?" Regina looks away, her face tinted pink as the embarrassment renders her mute. Ruby continues seriously , "Regina, it's hers too. It's not fair if you don't let her know before you decide."

Regina bit her lip at the thought of talking to Emma, of breaking the news to her. Something that would have made them both happy if only Emma had chosen her. "She's going to be so mad," she whispered when she imagined the scene where she would tell Emma only to have the blonde blame her. She is going to think I did this to trap her. "What? Why would she be mad? She obviously has to carry some responsibilities."

Regina was nauseous, either by the thought of relaying such an information to Emma or by the severe hormonal imbalance and changes within her body, and she rushed to the bathroom. Ruby followed closely behind and held Regina's hair, rubbing her back softly as Regina lost nothing and everything in her stomach to the toilet. When Regina had recovered, her voice was raw, so she closed her eyes and nodded at Ruby's invitation to carry her downstairs for some ginger tea that Katherine made for her. She had no more energy to pretend to be strong after all that has happened. She would appreciate and take all the support she would get. She also knew she had to think and consider every possibility. The best chance for her and her child. She wished she was given the chance to tell Emma under better circumstance, one where in the perfect world, Emma would be holding her hair back or waited anxiously with her while they waited for confirmation of the existence of the product of their True Love. It was truly hilarious how she was handed this fate in her lifetime, that she would have a True Love with the Saviour who has done nothing to save her.

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><p><strong>P.S <strong>Regina talks to Emma in the next chapter. So… tell me what you think for a fast update? :)

T.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer : **I do not own Once Upon A Time and the characters featured in this television series.

**A/N : **Thank you for the reviews. Also loving the people who are following and favourting. It is truly an honour to have all of your attention. To those who like the songs so far, add "Gravity" by Sara Bareilles to the list! Won't keep you with a long A/N, so here you go! Enjoy!

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><p><strong>In The Secret and Quiet<br>Chapter 9**

Regina has been nervous the entire morning. Throughout her entire time with Henry for breakfast, the boy had repeatedly ask her if something was wrong or if she should see Whale about her persistent allergies. He was excited about the summer festival later that day starting from four onwards and was worried that she would be too sick to enjoy the festivities. She assured him that she would have to be there to make sure everything was running well as the mayor and that she would have ice-cream with him if she was feeling better. She wondered when her cravings would start. She also tried to imagine how she would break the news to Emma.

She hasn't had the opportunity to see Emma these past few days due to the hectic preparation regarding the summer festival. It was a good thing Granny's ginger tea seemed to be working and it helped decrease the nausea to the point where she could have regular meetings once again. Now that she knew her actual condition, there were a number of remedies which Granny recommended and they thankfully worked. The Sheriff, on the other hand, has been busy with on-site preparation. Therefore, today would be the day where she would get the opportunity to see Emma and hopefully during or after the event, manage to get some time with the blonde alone to break the news.

When they had arrived at the park where the festival was held, Regina could immediately spot the flash of blonde directing the dwarves to some random direction. Henry had accompanied her around the grounds until he saw some of his friends and asked for permission to join them but promised that they would get ice cream later. She wasn't left alone for a second before Tink joined her. The fairy's effervescent behaviour made the impending doom of talking to Emma less stressful. When Ruby joined the duo after helping out with her grandmother, Regina was grateful for the ginger tea in the takeaway coffee cup that was slipped into her hands. Her morning sickness was becoming more manageable but that could actually mean that she was further along in her pregnancy than she would care to admit. She had to stop herself from tracing a certain sheriff's movements around the festival but time and time again, her eyes kept wandering and her mind was in a mess from trying to phrase the words she would say to Emma.

It was towards the end of the festival, as she left Ruby to help Granny with the clean up and Katherine with Tink who was tipsy from the ridiculous amount of beer she consumed during the beer-drinking contest, she decided that it would be an opportune time to talk to Emma. She strode past the activities booth to walk in the direction where she had last seen Emma. Regina turned the corner from the tents where the booths were at and saw Emma with Hook on the park bench. She stared at the blond who was only less than 10 feet away with her boyfriend. Emma was in mid-laughter, her head thrown back from something Hook said. Seated closely and ocassionally kissing, they looked happy and content. Regina felt herself withdraw within herself, hugging her midsection with her arms as she took in the sight of Emma who wasn't that far away.

Emma didn't look as if she just had the worst weeks of her life, unlike Regina who had to stand in front of the mirror every day since that night to cover up her pain. Regina felt a hollow ache in her chest cavity, if it had pained her to see Emma and Hook individually, the sight of them together sent continuous sharp stabs within Regina. With every peck or giggle, Regina's heart felt like a boxer's punching bag, pummeled and bludgeoned. The couple looked like a fairy tale in the making sans formal dress clothing and Regina's heart bled onto the grass as she was reminded of the harsh truth. Regina was just an object of lust. She was the summer fling and Emma had proven since weeks ago, that she was nothing else but that. Captain fucking Hook was the one her supposed True Love, Emma Swan chose to love instead of her.

Hook had his arms around Emma when the blonde finally spotted Regina from the corner of her eyes and when they made eye contact, Regina's heart sank further. She saw the fear that whirled in those emerald orbs and she laughed bitterly at her role as the dirty unwanted secret ex-mistress in her son's biological mother's life. She had played so many roles in her life, obedient daughter, dutiful queen, glorified nanny, Evil Queen, cold mayor, and single mother but this was by far the most humbling because she didn't think she had allowed herself to sink this far down until Emma Swan. Emma Swan was the gravity that pulled her down over and over, first head over heels in love then later her heart through a bed of thorns after the roses have been trampled on.

The blonde gave Regina a look that was clearly asking her what the hell she was doing standing there. Regina narrowed her eyes and strode forward, she would refuse to be intimidated by Emma. There was no other opportunity to tell the blonde, in a semi-public setting because Regina didn't want to seek Emma out privately. She couldn't simply call up the blonde after telling the blonde to stay away. By doing it here, people probably assumed the mayor was speaking to the sheriff at a professional capacity or even about Henry. Hook turned around as he felt Emma's gaze on something or someone behind him. His laughter trailed off and his joyous expression faltered. "Good day, Regina," he greeted, determined to be on the mayor's good side to maintain the peace. He had sensed that his girlfriend and the mayor was in some kind of silent war and he did not want to be around when they started fighting.

"Hello," Regina greeted tersely. Hook's eyes shifted to the blonde beside him, wondering if his girlfriend was as tense as Regina was. Emma stiffened when Regina responded to Hook, feeling as if something heavy sat in her chest as her boyfriend and mistress, correction, ex-mistress, decided to greet to each other. "I want to speak to Miss Swan alone," Regina said as she glared at Emma whose eyes widened at Regina's demand. What the fuck are you doing Regina? Hook looked at Emma, whose widening eyes definitely meant that trouble was going down. Maybe he should get David and Snow before there was bloodshed. "Uh-I'll leave you two women to it then. See you later, love," he said nervously, turned to peck Emma on the cheek and quickly scampered off at the risk of further angering Regina. The woman and her fireballs.

"What is going on Regina?" Emma asked as she shifted from her position on the bench and stared at Regina uncomfortably and awkwardly, uncertain if she should invite Regina to seat on the bench. Regina looked at the empty spot on the bench which Emma had made for her and tightened her jaw visibly. She'd much rather incinerate the bench to ever sit on it at this point. She cleared her throat lightly, "I have something to tell you," she said taking in Emma's nervous expression.

"Can we go somewhere more private?" Emma asked, glancing around as she took note of the people who were taking down the tents and cleaning the park. "If anything happens, this is a very public place. I don't really think we should do anything. I mean, I've hurt you and-" Emma rambled nervously as she combed her fingers through her hair, an action that she only did when she was feeling exasperated or nervous.

Regina raised her hand to stop Emma from saying anything else, "Emma, I have no intentions of doing anything with you. Rest assured, it is the furthest thing from my mind. I believe there's something you should know. That's all."

"Oh," Emma replied with a half-frown at Regina's blunt words. "Can we talk in my bug? The silencing spell from the other time still works. I mean, if it's as serious as you are making me believe, I don't think I want people to overhear," Emma's nervousness tripled at the thought of having people know about her affair with Regina. "You won't have to walk far. I'm parked right there," Emma added as she pointed to the yellow atrocity to the side of the field nearest to them. She had managed to park nearer to the park since she was early. Regina could only nod at Emma's request and started walking, eager to say her piece and get it over with. No point dragging this further and end up arguing with Emma about where to tell her the news. Emma trailed behind the brunette and wondered if Regina had lost weight since she last saw her, the usual slim figure had seemed slightly thinner than she remembered. Emma shook her head from studying Regina's shapely behind, it would do herself no favours if she started thinking about the brunette again. Spending every single night since that one night staring at her ceiling was not the most enjoyable activity when she knew she would have to inhale RedBull the next day to remain standing.

They walked in silence, Regina ignored the people who she thought would have seen the Evil Queen and the Saviour walk towards the signature yellow Bug. She made a mental not to tell Ruby to spread the news that they were discussing matters regarding Henry later on. Until then, she would ignore them because she had more pressing matters to deal with. Her palms were sweaty from the nervousness as she pulled the slightly rusty handle of the yellow Bug's passenger door and got in. She slammed the door shut and breathed evenly. She was the Evil Queen who cast the Dark Curse for goodness sake, telling someone that you are carrying their child shouldn't faze her. Except it did. Very much. Emma joined her in the Bug and closed her door, placing her hands on the wheel, to prevent herself from reaching over to take Regina's hands into hers. She missed the way the brunette's hands would mould into hers perfectly. She stared at the car parked in front of hers, looking through the windshield as she avoided Regina's warm and hypnotic brown orbs and lush lips. She would totally lean over and start Regina if she didn't control herself properly.

"Uh-so...what is it you wanted to tell me?" Emma broke the painful silence that had filled the Bug. Regina looked at the nervous blonde and wondered about the blonde's reaction. She had suppressed thoughts of imagining the blonde's reaction because she didn't want to be disappointed if Emma let her down once again.

"As much as it might pain you to do so, we need to act like adults about what I am going to share with you. Can you remain calm until I've finished?" Regina searched Emma's face as the blonde took in her words, ready to tell Emma the actual news. "Uh-yeah. Of course. You know you're making me more nervous by saying all these things," Emma breathed heavily as she blew away a stray hair in front of her face.

"I know," Regina replied knowingly, the anticipation must be killing her, "Look at me, Emma."

Emma turned to face Regina, her mouth going dry as she studied the brunette up close for the first time since that night. Her own emerald orbs softened at the hidden pain behind Regina's brown orbs as she wished she was strong enough to love her. She wasn't strong or brave enough to love Regina with her entire being, to be fully committed to the other mother of her son. Emma didn't deserve Regina who was so hauntingly gorgeous despite the well-covered dark circles around her eyes and her slightly sunken cheeks. She wanted to badly to reach out and rub the high-cheekbones with her thumb, tracing Regina's face like she would often do when they were post-coital and the brunette had fallen asleep. She forgot about time when she spent it, soaking in Regina's presence, knowing that what they have would be destroyed by her own hands one day. She was always far too self-destructive for her own or anyone else's good.

Regina swallowed visibly as she felt Emma's eyes study her intensely, she had been so worried about phrasing what to tell the blonde that she had not considered what it would be like for Emma to hear this news from her. This must be the last thing she wants, seeing how she no longer wants you. There was hope that she might want the baby though. The Emma that she had so stupidly started an affair and subsequently fell in love with, would never reject her own child. Or would she? When the child was biologically related to the Evil Queen?

"Emma," she said softly, as she felt herself being drawn back into those emerald orbs. She wondered what features their baby would inherit from Emma. If their baby would share Emma and Henry's eyes. She looked at Emma, the unspoken questions and fear was evident on her True Love's face, as she let the words slip, "Emma, I'm pregnant."

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><p><strong>P.S <strong>Who wants to know Emma's reaction? You know what to do for a fast update… ;) But teases aside, let me know your comments about the writing or whatever you want please. Thanks! :)

T.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer : **I do not own Once Upon A Time and the characters featured in this television series.

**A/N : **Sorry for having teased you with a sliffhanger of some sort. Thank you for the reviews, favourites and follows. Here is Emma's reaction and I hope you like it despite... ;)

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><p><em>Previously in Chapter 9<em>

_She looked at Emma, the unspoken questions and fear was evident on her True Love's face, as she let the words slip, "Emma, I'm pregnant." _

**In The Secret and Quiet  
>Chapter 10<strong>

"Emma? Emma?" Regina asked as the blonde continued staring, wide eyed, slack-jawed, tight through her, completely mute. As she had been for the last few minutes. "Em-ma," she pronounced slowly, allowing the words to roll on her tongue as she slowly felt anger rising within her. What part of being an adult did Emma not understand? She had to be the one to remain calm for the both of them, rational but all she really wanted to do was scream at the blonde. No, a lady never screams and Emma deserved some time to get over the shock. She has had a few more days to process the information so it was understandable that the blonde would pull a reaction like this.

Emma wasn't saying a word but the blonde looked at Regina, tracing every inch of the brunette's face with her eyes and detected no alarms ringing in her head. She replayed those words in her mind over and over and she knew instinctively that Regina was telling the truth. Regina was carrying her child. She didn't even know Regina could have children. Something her mom had mentioned to her some time ago about overhearing the court physician secretly informing the King that his 19-year-old Queen was barren. How was this possible? Okay, magic. Yeah, that made sense. They both had very powerful magic, she learnt how to make a dick with her powers, decided to have sex like bunnies and now Regina was pregnant from their affair. HOLY FUCK, Emma thought.

"I know this is a lot to take in," Regina said softly as Emma responded with a tentative nod, she continued, "But we need to talk about this, which means you need to speak. And then I'll reply. That's usually how a discussion works, Emma." There was no need for her sarcasm but she needed to drive the point into Emma. So that the blonde can actually use words instead of staring at her like an idiot. It was frustrating to tell someone that important only for them to act like a wall. She took deep breaths as she waited for Emma to reply.

Emma moved her mouth soundlessly, as if to practice the act of talking before words could actually be heard, then looked into her eyes, "Th-this is h-huge news-s," she nervously stuttered. Regina glared at the blonde for the obvious understatement. "But you obviously already knew that," Emma muttered as she looked at the steering wheel of her car then cleared her throat nervously.

Regina could see that Emma was struggling to maintain a calm front and despite the blonde's inability to be as confident as she had been that night in the conference room and later in Regina's house, the brunette was grateful for the simple fact that Emma didn't spontaneously combust or set herself on fire from the shock. Another part of her, however, wanted to see the blonde display some emotion other than general shock and nervousness. But that was out of the question since Regina could see that despite her silence, Emma's mind was whirling with questions and worries. Just like she had when she first found out. After all the crying and screaming into the pillow was done, Regina allowed herself to feel some happiness for this gift that she had been given.

She needed to be strong on her own, just as she had for all those years, since there was no one she could depend on. Despite Ruby, Katherine and Tink's presence in her life, a part was her was still too proud to break down entirely to them. She was responsible for the life she created with Emma. She shared this responsibility with Emma but the blonde has never been there for her. The Saviour had saved everyone but her, in fact she was quite sure Emma has consciously and subconsciously taken away any possibility of a happy ending until now. This baby could be her last chance at a happy ending, whether it was with Emma as her partner or not, she could spend her life caring and loving their child. That would be enough. It had to be. Emma wasn't dependable.

"Regina?" Emma inquired softly, snapping her out of her own dark thoughts. Now it was her turn to tune out for some time. "Yes?" she responded, unsure about what Emma was about to say. Emma breathed out nervously, "I think the decision is yours. And I... uhm- I'll support you no matter what," she swallowed. Regina eyes softened at Emma's words, "It's not just something that I can decide on my own, Emma. I want to know if you w-We need to discuss what we want to do, that's what we should be doing," Regina whispered as she searched Emma's face for any positive signs. Emma's eyes widened as she is suddenly weighted by the realisation that they needed to actually do something. What were they going to tell Henry? How was she going to explain this to her parents? Hook? The whole town? Hey everyone, I knocked up the Evil Queen when we were having an affair. So yeah, just FYI everyone. Oh God, everyone was going to know that she had an affair with Regina, the other mother of her son. Henry was going to figure it out. Regina is pregnant with their baby. A life they made. Someone that was part of her and me. Oh wow.

Emma reached out and circled her arms around Regina's neck, pulling the brunette's body into hers. She needed to hold Regina, for the brunette to anchor her to this world. Regina melted into Emma's hold, unable to resist finding comfort in Emma's affection. She wanted Emma to be with her, to have chosen her, to be with her every step of the way but only if the blonde truly wanted to. She didn't want the blonde to be with her because she was pregnant. Because the Saviour had to fulfill her obligations after knocking her mistress up. She wouldn't tell Emma about the True Love factor to conceiving a baby between two women. She wanted the blonde to come to the realisation herself and not because she told her so or their baby.

She stiffened in Emma's arms as she clenched her fists, wishing she could just let herself relax in Emma's hold but it was drowning her. The silence and uncertainty while Emma shifted closer to her. Too much like when they were still together where Emma would just be contented staying quiet about her feelings and let Regina suffer in the silence. "Everything's going to be okay, honey." Emma whispered into her ears and she immediately detached herself from the blonde. It didn't matter that Emma had called her that when she told her not to. It was also the fact that Emma had honestly thought this was something that they could just hug it out. Real life didn't work like that and certainly not a real human being that was growing within her. She knew she would not find happiness and content or safety in anyone else's arms. But Emma didn't really want her and so she refused to fall back into Emma's gravity just because she was pregnant.

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><p>"I told you not to call me that. And I don't really think it will be okay," Regina said flatly, ignoring the hurt look on Emma's expression after she pushed the blonde back into her seat on the driver's side. "Right…" the blonde trailed off, not really knowing what to respond to Regina's realistic statement about their situation. "We need to talk. Have an adult conversation about what to expect and do regarding this," Regina added, looking pointedly at Emma to convey her seriousness. "I know. So where do we start?" Emma responded softly as she glanced at Regina's hands, wanting desperately to hold them.<p>

"I believe we start with the baby. There are three options that we can possibly consider," Regina muttered, though she wasn't considering any other option besides having the baby and raising him or her. "Well, what are they?" Emma quirked her eyebrows since she didn't think they actually had that many options before them. "First option, we could have the baby and raise him or her," searching Emma's eyes before carefully mentioning the other option, she continued, "We could also give the baby up for adoption." At this, Emma furrowed her brows but Regina whispered the last option, which she hadn't dare think of it since the other day with Ruby in her bedroom. "Or terminate life before the first trimester."

Emma looked away for a moment, deep in thought, "You mean an abortion." "But Emma, I'm no-" Regina tried to interject Emma's train of thought but the blonde continued, "I didn't know you were considering it but I guess... If you're okay with it then I suppose the both of us can breathe easier," Emma exhaled loudly. "Breathe easier…" Regina echoed and trailed off, she didn't know what to think. Surely she was imagining this. NO! She must be imagining it. She shook her head at Emma, unable to form words as she looked at the blonde's face break into a smile.

"I think we can really learn from this," Emma said sincerely. When Regina didn't say anything, Emma continued, "I mean, I knew that magic had a price. But wow, this is really unexpected and biologically impossible. Then again, it's magic. This time, maybe the price was just heavier than the normal spells since I cheated and was unfaithful." The fact that Emma truly believed what she was saying made Regina nauseous and angry. Regina swallowed a painful lump in her throat and struggled to clear it. Emma took the pregnancy as the price of magic. A heavy price of magic that could now be fixed and forgotten. Did their baby mean so little to Emma?

"I'm very happy that we decided on this together. Can you imagine how pissed I would have been if you didn't tell me?" she said earnestly as she reached out to hold Regina's hand, which the brunette retracted from Emma's touch. She didn't remember deciding anything together. "No," Regina's body was shaking from the fury that bubbled within her. But the fury was mostly drowning in the overwhelming sadness, she didn't know what to do after this. How do you tell someone who is so determined to not be with you that you are actually carrying the physical proof of your love? Even then, would Emma even care?

Perhaps they didn't really share True Love because the former monarch doubted such a love would exist within Emma when the blonde appeared so unfazed by her absence in the blonde's life and so eager to remove the "problem" that was growing inside of her. Emma was blind and indifferent to her love, their love and now their child. It pained her to know that her child was unwanted by her other mother, just like she was. It must have been impossible for Emma to consider raising the child with Regina like they had been doing with Henry since she barely allowed Regina to finish before jumping at the chance to get rid of their baby. Their time together truly meant nothing to Emma and Regina was absolutely devastated, barely holding it together in Emma's pathetic excuse of a car as her fist clenched on her lap.

"Uhm-do you need help with the appointment? You should go out to Boston because you know...uhm-I can come with you if you want me to," Emma offered, hoping that Regina's hot and cold treatment would come to an end soon. She didn't really understand the anger swirling behind those brown orbs and honestly, a part of her didn't try that hard to decipher the brunette's feelings. Regina shook her head again, dumbfounded and shocked to her core by Emma's indifference towards her and a life they had created together. How and what would she say when Emma wasn't exactly listening to her. She wasn't taking the non-verbal cues or actually hearing what Regina was trying to say so there was no point. Emma was visibly relieved, so happy that they were getting rid of the problem, the proof of her shame without having anyone else know about their affair. Regina had been the dirty whore of a mistress but there was nothing dirty or sinful about her baby who was innocent in all this. She had given in that night and then every time after despite knowing that it would all come crashing down one day. It was her own fault. But her baby shouldn't have to join her mother in being a dirty little secret.

"Uhm-so did you walk here with Henry just now?" Emma asked, "I can fetch you home if you need a ride," she offered far too magnanimously like the fucking Saviour that she was. "I drov-e," Regina's voice cracked, the emotion choking her up as she struggled to compose herself. Regina knew an indirect dismissal when she heard one and the Saviour had just dismissed her from her presence since the solution to the problem had been decided. How eager the blonde was to get rid of her when just a few weeks ago the blonde would do almost everything to steal Regina's waking hours. Regina wondered how hard her mother was laughing in her grave at the new low which Regina reduced herself to when Emma was involved.

She opened the door to the passenger door and noted that it was almost fully dark due to the lack of light from the setting sun. She slammed the door shut and as it closed, she heard Emma tell her that she would talk to the brunette tomorrow. Regina was well aware of that lie and she didn't need lie-detecting abilities to know that Emma would go back to blocking the thought of Regina Mills out, in a futile attempt in which Emma thought, by doing so would make her a better person and Saviour. After all, she had been steadfastly ignoring the mayor with the exception of a few looks sent Regina's way.

When Regina climbed into bed that night, the tears didn't stop flowing until her body was physically unable to produce anymore. She was so tired and heartbroken that during her journey home in her Benz, she had wistfully hoped for a fatal car accident. Would the fates be so kind as to allow an instantaneous death? One could certainly hope. Maybe then Emma can breathe easier. Oh but she wouldn't because everyone would then know that the late mayor was pregnant. Perhaps Regina Mills was just not destined to win. Even in death. She laid in bed and cried for herself, for being so stupid, for the broken parts of her that she knew was most likely still in love with Emma, and her unborn baby whose other parent didn't want her. Her chest ached from the sobbing and heaving while her eyes were sore and at one point, blinded her. But the physical pain and discomfort was nothing at all, compared to the internal anguish that burned her insides as her mind wreaked havoc about what she would do next about her situation.

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><p><strong>P.S<strong> I'm sorry about mistreating my Regina this badly with such a self absorbed Emma but I am addicted to angst and the way it squeezes my heart. (I hope you are too?) They make the fluff more sweeter. I also believe in character growth, albeit the growth curve for Emma being slightly stunted. (I blame it on the idiotic gene) If you really want to know what is next for Regina (and perhaps Emma), you know what to do. ;)

T.


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